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coming out to my friends, extended family, and facebook.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by needshelp, Oct 20, 2012.

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  1. needshelp

    needshelp
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    got the immediate family out the way. it was tough BUT it was done.

    the thing is with the friends, extended family, and even facebook, it's quite different. with the immediate family, the secret stays within the home. they most likely WON'T tell anybody else. with friends, extended family and facebook, it's basically when you're officially out where they'll be most definitely someone that won't approve of it or give you complete hell over it.

    i'm scared that i'll lose my friends, my extended family such as my aunts, cousins, grandparents, granduncles, and etc won't talk to me anymore (they're distant) and that people won't have anything to do with me anymore on a large scale like old classmates from high school, acquaintances and etc. you know, i think i could take a hit or two where i could take losing a friend or get disowned by a cousin BUT to have a good number of people go against me would be too much.
     
    #1 needshelp, Oct 20, 2012
  2. ems

    ems
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    Well done for coming out to ur close family , for me that would be worse and the ones I would leave intill last. Some of my friends know and most have been totally fine with it. But everybody is different. My friends haven't told anyone else , so I'm safe from my family knowing. Just do what feels right. Maybe tell a few or ones that u think will be ok. Maybe test the waters first to see how they will react. Like bring up the gay marriages thing or pride that was on. Hope this helps in some way

    ---------- Post added 20th Oct 2012 at 09:28 PM ----------

    Oh and also . Tell people at ur time. Don't rush into things if u don't want to. and also if ur freinds are ur friends it should go fine. If they don't are they really people u want to call friends?
     
    #2 ems, Oct 20, 2012
  3. FishMan27

    FishMan27
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    I've been coming out to my friends over these last few months, and everyone has been extremely supportive. In fact, I'm considering just coming out to everyone because of the confidence I've built up and the support system I have.

    I talked to my parents about this sort of thing, and my dad said something that really stuck with me. He said:

    Ultimately, you need to decide the role of your orientation in defining you.* Is it the central defining characteristic or one of many? * Are you the great swimmer, student, and leader who also is gay, or are you the gay kid who is a great swimmer, student, and leader.* Those who already know you see the former.* Strangers will see the latter if they look beyond your first, defining characteristic.

    Your friends know you for all of your wonderful qualities, and finding out that you're gay probably won't make them hate you. I'm not saying they won't be shocked or there won't be the occasional friend who might not take it well, but I have yet to run into anyone who hasn't been supportive.

    Good luck with your coming out process, and remember to do it on YOUR schedule. Do it when YOU feel comfortable. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 FishMan27, Oct 20, 2012
  4. lwp08reh

    lwp08reh
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    Do you really care about what your extended family/old classmates think? I wouldn't care particularly if you see them only fleetingly. Acceptance from your inner family is the bedrock you need to move on and live comfortably with yourself. I just don't understand why you would care about these 'distant' people. Plus don't underestimate the open-mindedness and tolerance of family and friends towards gay people
     
    #4 lwp08reh, Oct 20, 2012
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