what is your definition of "be yourself"?

ROFLAO! Actually back in the 70's running naked down the sidewalk was a fad and called streaking.

Be yourself to me means be authentic. Maybe you can't be 100% authentic because of the constraints you mention but you try to be as authentic as possible. I think living in the closet is in direct contrast to being authentic and I should know because I'm doing it. But just because I'm not 100% authentic doesn't mean I can't be authentic on some things, like my views on LGBT issues.

 

For me, "being myself" has come to mean accepting that I am willing to be a chameleon in my life in order to keep the peace. I think that I am much more comfortable telling lies than a lot of people. I wouldn't recommend my current life to others, but there is a part of me that sees looking in the mirror and saying "I am a coward, and liar, and a bisexual woman in the closet, and I can carry that weight as long as I need to in order to reach my goals" as being as honest with myself as I can be. It is a small thing to be satisfied by, but at least I don't lie to myself about what and who I am.

 

As someone who has never totally fit in at any point in my life and has known a lot of people who are the same way, I've thought about this a lot. I've seen people who take the concept of "being yourself" way too far and end up alienating nearly everyone around them except for those who enable their anti-social habits. Could they really defend that behavior by saying they were "being themselves"?

I agree with those who say that "being yourself" is simply being authentic, but I don't think it's particularly good advice. I think the much better advice is "be your best self" or "be the best version of yourself". Be polite to other people, be motivated, be a contributing member of society, and do it in a way that brings out the best side of you.

 

My definition of being yourself: Doing what makes you happy (within reason) and not caring how others will view you for it.

 

My definition: Uphold my values and let nothing else stop that no matter the consequences. It makes everything right

 

do want you want to do and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

 

My version: be happy with the person you are showing the world. I want the person the world sees be the person I feel inside. Gay/healthy/anxious/happy/crazy/care-free. Or any combination of the above.

 

Being yourself.

To me, it means freedom, freedom to choose your self expression, and freedom to act according to how you want to. You can act as different from how you feel as you want to, or you can stick to your impulses, or you can act in more accordance with your feelings but in controlled way. They are all stilling being yourself. Just in different forms, shapes, feelings, and paths. They are all you, you are always being yourself.

The term being yourself is too general to me.

Saying "Act closer to how you feel on the inside" is closer to what "being yourself" to some means.

 

To me, "to be yourself" means try not to be afraid of what other people will think of you and don't change who you are to please them or to fit in.
I mean, for many many years, I tried to conform to what I thought other people expected from me : I tried to be thin, I tried to have the right clothes, to be performant at school, to like the same things other people liked... I was trying so much to be whatever I thought people wanted me to be, to feel accepted and loved, that I completely erased my personality. And that didn't work. I had the constant feeling that I was missing the point, that the more I was trying and the less people were liking me. And in the end, I ended up having absolutely no idea of who I truly was.
It's been a battle, with myself, to stop doing this, to admit that I couldn't please everybody and that not everybody will like me. But in the process, I also learned that when I am true to myself, some people truly like me for who I am : a clumsy, loud, plump woman with a weird sense of humor. And I also discovered that, when I am true to who I am, I even happen to like myself (ok, not all the time, but still).
So, I think that when I say "be yourself" to someone, what I really mean is, don't try to pretend to be someone you're not (and on EC, that pretty much always means, don't pretend to be straight) because when you pretend to be someone you're not, you can't be truly happy nor to have fulfilling connection with other people.
I hope it makes sense somehow.

 

I think my definition of "being yourself" coincides with that of many others' in this thread.

It's doing what you do—and being whom you are—without apologizing, or without feeling stigmatized or embarrassed. One can conform to or go against social norms, agree or disagree with someone else's opinions, be outgoing or shy, be thin or overweight, etc. But be authentic about it, make it your own, and own it; don't put on airs and try to be someone or something that you inherently are not.

 

For me it means to respect and stay true to what you feel comfortable doing/saying/thinking/being as a person to the best of your ability. Unless you're honest with yourself about everything, the process of finding inner peace and happiness will become much more long and drawn out than it needs to be. Sometimes that comes at the expense of admitting your own shortcomings or mistakes you've made when you don't want to. But in the long run that's a modest price to pay compared to a lifetime of questioning and doubting yourself every time you make a choice that reflects what you want other people to think about you instead of what you want for yourself in reality. If the lifestyle you create for yourself isnt centered around wants and needs you genuinely have, then you won't be able to get the absolute most out of it until you make it so it is.

 

I interpret it as staying true to who you can be. It's kinda like being yourself is being awesome, but we let other stuff get in the way of it. This stuff can be other people's expectations, obsessing over good grades, or simply slouching in front of the TV all the time. Being yourself is getting past that and being someone with boundaries and limits who is nevertheless a lovely person not defined by others.

 

Its opposite; being somebody you are not.

There is, in our enlightened society of freedoms, a heavy pressure to know who you are inside and to be that person on the outside. What about people who don't know who they are inside, yet? What do they do?

They don't.

What I mean is, no matter if you feel like you know yourself or not, there will always be those things that are Not You. It could be a clothing style you'd never wear, it can be words you'd never say.... anything that would feel extremely wrong to you.

Example: My mom is a very honest person. She hates to lie, and she's very bad at it anyway. Sometimes in life there are situations where it would turn out to be easier for her if she lied, but she doesn't, because it would feel wrong to her.
In that matter, my mom is being herself.

 

Short answer, when u dont have to pretend ur someone ur not. When ur true to ur self and dont change to fit in.

 

I think the idea of "being one's self" is not really about a state of "being" so much as it is about actions. To me, the extent to which one "is themselves" is the balance they strike between pursuing their own desires vs. social expectations and obligations. So one could very much want to do nothing but watch TV all day or run around naked all the time, but they might decide that the consequences of pursuing that desire are worse than the gratification of pursuing it. To some extent, that too could be considered "being one's self" because they are pursuing their desire to avoid negative consequences.

But the concept of a "self" is somewhat problematic because there isn't some kind of "software" within us that has permanent programming about every one of our characteristics. Our "selves" can be constantly evolving. I think people tend to identify their "selves" with the characteristics that are the most consistent (for instance, someone constantly attracted to the same sex identifies themselves as "gay/lesbian"). Sometimes people even get upset because their current actions don't correspond with past ideas of "themselves."

To some extent these kinds of identifiers can be useful, but I don't think you should let yourself get bogged down in the idea that you need to have a permanent mental map of "who you are." Just live in the present moment, listen to what your desires are, and decide whether pursuing them is worthwhile given the consequences. Take note of characteristics that seem particularly consistent, but don't feel obliged to maintain them if you find your desires are changing.

 

I've always tried to be myself and lately, I'm mastering that skill pretty well. I can be my authentic true self on the outside, but I'm masking a completely different person at this moment. I can't be myself due to my surroundings, but when I'm able to, I'm much more happy/enthusiastic about life. I'm quietly awkward, goofy, playful, nice and caring. And that's the real me; I often joke about being gay and it's funny to me. Life is too short to not be the real you, oh yeah--I can be mean too

 

atm i think it is acting natural and honest.