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The details of coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Epipleptic, Oct 21, 2012.

  1. Epipleptic

    Full Member

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    I've recognized my need to come out to my family, at least conceptually. My reasons are not unusual. The strain of hiding myself is becoming too much and I feel it is ultimately something positive to share.

    My parents are well aware I'm not like other people my age (24). I don't have many friends or (for their purposes) a girlfriend and don't appear to want them or seek situations to meet them. The fact is, though, I've changed since coming out and go hang out with my LGBT group and do want new (gay) friends and just do what a 20-something does.

    Now I know no one can tell me the right time, but is there any advice for the right timing? I live with my parents and is this something to bring up on a Saturday and see what happens by Sunday night? Do I mention it Sunday night and then get breathing room by going to work? Should I just promise myself that the next time the 'girlfriend' conversation comes up, I come out? Do I wait until after Thanksgiving and Christmas just because? It's worth mentioning I have no friends to come out to I am undecided about coming to my brother first or whole family at once.

    My second concern is that my mother has noticed I've been acting differently, mostly to do with my going to and covering up my attendance of LGBT group events. So I feel there should be some explanation for it; mostly because I hate the lies and feel it is a positive thing to share. But I picked what turned out to be the worst cover story. I've been saying I've been attending meetings for a religious academic society I became a member of in college, just because a place affiliated with it happens to be near my local LGBT center. But I know my mother sees religious honor society meetings, I think fer her purposes 'gay meetings' as different things. I've emphasized that the meetings are not particularly religious and I often just say what goes on at my LGBT meeting, but still...:bang:
     
  2. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    My only advice when it comes to coming out is to do it whenever and however you feel comfortable, and to do it when you feel like your safety won't be an issue.

    If you feel like your parents won't disown you or kick you out, then do it whenever you feel the most comfortable. Honestly, whatever works the best for you. Through email, text, letter, in person, etc. The important thing is to get the conversation going.

    I personally came out while I was in the middle of a very heated fight with my mom. Probably not your best scenario, but it worked for me and I probably wouldn't have been able to do it any other way. At the end, after much fighting, she is now completely okay with it all.

    If you want, reading through coming out threads might be helpful to give you some ideas of how to go about it all :slight_smile: