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MTF transexual looking for guidance

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Michelle1984, Oct 22, 2012.

  1. Michelle1984

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Terre Haute
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I am new to this site and beginning my journey (in terms of transitioning) but I don't really know what steps to take. Im seeing a psychologist about all of this on Wednesday, but I think Ive really known all along and so have a lot of my friends. What else do I need to do to make the transition as smooth as possible? Are there any transexual MTF people out there who could give me some guidance? I'd really appreciate it :slight_smile: I just need to know how to get things started.
     
  2. PurpleCrab

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Sherbrooke, QC Canada
    Well my wife is mtf and she has not started on hormone therapy yet; we are waiting for the possibility of consulting a gender therapist (things are physically keeping us from it).

    She has done lots of research though, is part of transgender groups, is trying to keep herself in shape and to stop smoking completely (you need to be almost perfectly healthy for the hormones..). She also takes herbs that help her natural female hormones. She is one of the lucky ones who is naturally producing more female hormones than the average male, and low testosterone so she already has the soft hair and scent of a woman.
    There are sites that help to practice a softer, more feminine voice.

    Oh and... she warned me that she's going to be extremely skinny at some point :frowning2: Because with hormones the fat will go to more womanly places, but the fat that's already there won't change places so it needs to be gone first. Meh, I love her curves so I'm not overly enthusiast about this but I understand.
    If you wish I could ask her to contact you here!
     
  3. Cassandra

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Mexico (Mexicali City)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Hello Michelle!!!(*hug*)

    You've already done the first 2 steps, wich are some of the hardest: you already accepted yourself (wich sometimes is harder than one might think) and you already have an appointment with a therapist.

    This is sooo important, because this will help you get a hold on yourself and see a crlearer future.

    As for the next steps, well, I'm still unable to help there since I'm still on first stages (I just accepted myself some months ago). But, as PurpleCrab said, prepare your body to be in full health, since hormones are not magical solutions, they're tools, and once you start using them, your body will have some hard changes.

    Keep in mind, that before starting to use hormones you should go and see a doctor who examines you and determines when you are ready for it. And more important, you need to keep going with that doctor during your hormone therapy, because hormones can bring serious heart and veins problems. This is the main reason I haven't started on hormones yet, I'm a long way before my healthy "me".

    Anyway, briefing, go to see a doctor, when your body is ready to start the hormone therapy, you may start it. For the time being, you may as well (this is a particular choice I took) start buying feminine clothing, so you'll get confortable with yourself.

    Hope this help you at all!!!(*hug*)
     
  4. J Snow

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Ames, Iowa
    You've already taken the biggest step by setting up an appointment to see a psychologist. I was in therapy for about 9 months prior to starting HRT, but that was really because I hadn't really come to terms with being trans, and I wasn't in a good postition to transition (I'm still not, but just reached a point where I felt I couldn't wait any longer). Your therapist will likely be able to write you a letter of recommendation and be able to recommend physicians if they have any experience with trans patients. I would expect them to want you to be in therapy for at least ~3 months before starting hormones though. Even if the therapist is okay, most health insurance companies require a 3 month period of psychological evalutation before they will cover HRT.

    There biggest advice I will give you is to try to find some transgender support groups in your area. I started attending a couple in my area and meeting other trans people is what has given me the confidence and support to really push forward. I can't tell you how much of a life changer it has been for me having transgender friends that I can relate to.

    Starting to work on your voice would be a really good idea as hormones aren't going to help with that.

    I would look up your health insurance policy and try to get a grasp on that. I'm currently in a situation where I didn't realize my insurance wouldn't cover my blook work so now I owe $100, and have more blood work scheduled next week. I may have to put my transition on hold until I get out of college and am more financially stable =( This stuff is going to be good to get a solid understanding on.

    I have heard so many conflicting things about the fat. The most common advice I've heard is its good to be a little heavy going into transition, because it will help build up the breasts and hips, and then after you are on the hormones you start working out to lose the excess fat in other places.

    Some people get weight loss and some people get weight gain. I think most commonly people lose a lot of muscle weight at first, and then over time gain fat weight. Hormones cause you to lose muscle mass, and the muscle mass you have, the more fat your body burns, so losing muscle should in theory cause you to gain weight.

    I can only speak on behalf of my own experience since starting HRT, but since I started nearly 2 months ago, I feel like I have lost a lot of weight! My face and belly look so much different. I've always had kind of a big "beer belly," and while I still have enough of a stomach to be able to "grab" my fat, I feel so thin compared to how I used to be (You can look at the pictures in my profile if you want some reference). I don't know if its the hormones that are responsible for the perceived weight loss, but I don't feel like I really made any other significant diet or excercise changes.

    If you have any more specific questions or just want someone to talk to you can always message me on my profile wall =)
     
  5. Valarie

    Valarie Guest

    well,
    we all go through it differently
    different order, speed, etc.

    for me
    1: work it out in my mind, build some confidence
    2: want to tell people but fail, then mom drags it out of me
    3: tell the family i live with, still hesitant about that
    4: see a therapist
    5: go to an endocrinologist
    6: go to PFLAG/LGBT meetings
    7: start hormones/hair romoval
    8: procrastinate telling people, mom tells some family members on the side
    9: procrastinate some more
    10: going to write a letter to tell people
    11: procrastinate writing the letter
    12: more procrastination
    13: finally writes letter
    14: finally have enough confidence to actually tell my best friend, and doesnt use letter
    15: told another friend the next weekend
    16: told my uncle and grandpa then next weekend
    17: going to tell another friend this coming weekend

    so yeah, not the smoothest or best, but working for me
    listen to lots of peoples transitions and they will help guide you to find your way ^.^