Lately I've been feeling like shit. My parents' marriage is falling apart, feeling eating away at me, and yeah. I recieved advice that I should try to talk with someone about stuff that's going on. So I am. Who's the person I trust the most? My best friend/crush. I just asked him if he'd have any free time in the coming days, and he said yes he did, friday in fact cause we're off school that day. There's just so much eating away at me and I need to tell someone. He's willing to listen, cause he's just awesome like that. Here are some of the things I want to discuss with him. -The inevitable divorce in my family that'll cause me to move an hour away from him and change schools. I discussed this with him a bit already, but alas, texts can only do so much. I can't really get into details with texting. I just don't have that kind of patience. -Some girl that he knows, but I think doesn't know a side of her, is hitting on him. I don't trust her, not after she cheated on another one of my friends (on the XC team, he doesn't know him.). I want to kindly say that I don't trust her, as i hate cheaters. Especially since my mother is cheating on my father. It's really messed my father up. I know people make mistakes, I just want him to be careful -Maybe my feelings for him. It seems like he'd understand, with the outside chance he'd return them. I also need to limit my interactions with him to a degree. No matter how bad it hurts me, I need to get over him. I need to move on if he doesn't like me back. I have been in love with him since some time in the seventh grade. We're in high-school now. If he doesn't love me back, I need to move on, no matter how much pain may come. -There's some other stuff that I know I'd discuss with him, like my relationship with some of my other friends. Especially one that I am really getting annoyed with. It seems he can't really relate to others well. I show obvious signs of feeling like shit/being pissed off, and he just decides to piss me off more. So anyone have any advice for this? He's really the only one I can trust 100%. He's been a great friend since I met him. I want to be more than friends with him, but I doubt that could happen. I just can't stand hiding all this stuff from him. It's tearing me up inside and infecting my dreams. I probably had the worst dream ever last night. Him getting his heart broken by that girl, and me having to act like it wasn't a ginormous deal to me. I know it sounds obsessive/maybe over-protective. I just don't want him to feel the way my dad does right now.
It's a lot to talk about, so if you don't have all day to talk, you might want to decide what is highest priority first, and save the lower pressure stuff for later. That way you can get what's really flattening you off your back and buy some time and air to breathe until you can bring up the rest without overwhelming him. I'd also suggest walking for at least part of the conversation, if it is comfortable. That might sound odd, but moving instead of just sitting has always seemed to help me during long, deep exchanges. Trust your own idea of what will work best, though. And good luck to you, I really hope it all goes well.
Thanks. I was thinking of invitng him over, and we would walk up to a school that I used to go to. Walk around a bit. We're going to have tons of time to talk, I know that.
Ughh. No inviting him over apparently. Parent aren't really happy right now. By that I mean, well they're pissed off at eachother. My mother basically admtted she's waiting for the right time to leave him and take a lot of his stuff. I really want to tell him about all this stuff. I could say we could meet up somewhere, but I just don't know. I'm really down right now. Just...ughh.
Well, last update till we talk probably. He said that he was able to invite me over saturday, giving me a ride to his house and back. Kinda nervous about that for a few reasons. First off, first time ever being over at his house, well I've been there, but not really. Just there to ask if he wanted to hang out while I was over at another friend's house, as they live on the same street. Secondly, well with what I want to tell him, it could be one awkward as hell ride back and stuff. See how it goes I guess. Thirdly, I was happy with walking to my old elementary school to talk, as you know, playgrounds and all that to sit down on. I dunno where we'd walk to at his house really. Well, it's going to be terrifying, but yeah. Kinda want it to arrive right now so I can just get all this stuff off my chest.
