Well I've known I was gay since I was... maybe 11. More or less. Anyway, when I was young I used to play football and soccer in a league. I was actually really good and constantly played in the top leagues. The problem was, I grew up in Miami and most of the guys on my team were Latino and would speak in Spanish. So I was alienated from half the time right there. However regardless of how good a player I was, I never really had a connection with anyone else on my team. Sure we'd have laughs and I'd go over to their houses but like I said, the older we got, this connection started going away. Cut to 8th grade and I was pretty much miserable playing football. I would be on the bench counting down the time till the game was done. It's not that I hated the sport, but it's just I felt so much pressure. I was scared if I did something wrong, my teammates would yell at me. To make matters worse, because I was a good player, my dad made me go to football camps and make me play in other leagues when our season was done. And even though it was different people, I still felt uncomfortable. And it would make me sick. So I told my father I don't want to play football anymore. He was upset, called me a quitter, a girl, etc.. but it's okay. I quit football because I felt uncomfortable and hated my teammates. In my junior year I quit soccer (I was on the verge of making the US junior national team too) because once again, I felt on the outs. Everyone on my team got along fine and had laughs, and I was just...there. I would actually fake being sick to not go to practice. Cause every time I'd go the car ride to practice made me sick. I only talked to 2 guys on that team but they were each others best friend and I wouldn't be invited out with them. It didn't bother me though. I was just quiet.. never said anything and was worried to make a mistake on the field cause then they would be mad at me. I finally told my dad I wanted to quit, and he called me a girl again and was mad but then got over it. So pretty much all my connections with males, went away when I quit both sports. I slowly started to hang out more and more with girls in high school. But to be honest, I can't deal with girls all the time. I need some guy friends but I don't have any connection to them. I get nervous talking to them and I flashback to all those times they would leave me to the side like I was nothing. I just don't know what to do :S
*hug* While I don't do sport, I can relate on the part that I dont have a lot of guy friends. If I ever do get out of my home and hang out, 99% chance it's females. Do you engage with people in conversations? Have common interests outside of sports?
(*hug*) I don't have a lot of guy friends either, I just get along better with girls. My best friend is a guy, but I hardly see him since I started college, I moved 500 miles away and he stayed in our hometown. In high school I hung out almost exclusively with girls, we just clicked better and I felt comfortable around them. I get so nervous around guys, I was bullied a lot by guys growing up so girls are safe to me. Even though I spend more time around guys now, I still have trouble talking to them.
i feel the same nervousness lack of connection sometimes.it was a lot worse when i was young .i think a lot of what your feeling will pass aye.have you tryed to connect to other shy guys im personally more comfortable being round shy people .
This very subject has crossed my mind on several occasions as well. I'm only really good friends with two guys out of all the ones whom I've befriended, and I always thought it was because I just got along better with women, which isn't the case at all. I figured out that I get along with a REALLY specific niche of guys, and it tends to be the nerdy/gamer/comic book type because, to me, they're the ones who are the most down-to-earth and approachable (also because we share many of the same interests, lol). With that said, perhaps the sporty types just aren't your crowd?
I am the totally the same all my friends are girls. In high school I talked to guys and hung out in our group lots of pretty girls and hot guys ad taking to the girls I was fine but talking to the guys (my "friends") I always got so nervous around them I always felt like they could tell I was gay somehow while I felt like the girls didn't judge me if they ever knew. Plus all of the guys that my friends were dating were sooooooo hot so my type and I was so jealous eventually I got drunk and made out with my best friends boyfriend :/ I don't remember but ya..... Out Friendship ended after that an she broke up with him. People were questioning If I was gay after that so I stepped up my straight game and one of my friends helped me and told every one we had sex wich actaully worked for years untill grade 11 when people were like "he's so gay" I ignored it I played my tough card always and sucked it up and everyone who called me gay were guys so that's another reason I feel awkward around guys. Also because I like men I find it awkward talking to guys. It's like a guy who likes a girl he gets awkward around her and gets all nervous. That's what it's like for me
Aww :/ Guys are soooo easy man. All that pressure you feel, it's really in your head. If you try too hard with guys, it kinda weirds them out..(we're talking immature guys) If you play basketball any, that's a sport where you're bound to make new friends. It's a team sport in close quarters with each other and that's where you build a lot of respect with guys also. If you want to meet them in more formal settings... I actually don't do this often.. I would say find a place where there's a common interest. For me it was cars, so I go to a lot of car meets in the Atlanta area and I know a great deal of people that way. Add guys on FB who seem to have the same friends that you do and then chat until the point where you'd like to actually meet up and hang out. Hanging with girls is cool but it will seriously make you over think what a guy wants. If you're laid back, like to dish out jokes and can take them, that's pretty much the gist of the requirements. You don't necessarily have to put yourself out there too much, I never do at least. guys kind of just gravitate to me which is cool lol. And with females, if I were interested, I can always get in with them also. Tell me a little more about your personality though.. Are you shy, what kind of hobbies do you have, etc. You just have to find like minded people is all. The fact that you felt like an outsider and didn't want to pursue athletics doesn't mean that you can't find a cool guy to hang with. There are LOTS of guys who do nothing athletic lol..trust me.
I think the important question here is why do you want to hang out with guys over girls? And by that I mean, I think my answer would change a fair bit depending on the motive. In general though, friends are people that you should feel good around, people that you enjoy spending time with, people that you certainly shouldn't dread seeing. If they happen to be girls, then they're girls. And if you make guy friends, great. But overall, you should just be making friends with people who have common interests or things that let you "click". Making friends based on their gender is a little silly, don't you think? Anyways, I guess my point is to forget about their gender. In high school, I had mostly girl friends too, but now in university I've made a fair number of guy friends (probably about an equal ratio now). In fact, some of my best friends are guys. I suppose in high school I just didn't share the same interests as a lot of guys there did. Even now, the friends I have here are just as nerdy/intellectual as I am, so there's a lot of common ground to talk about. tl;dr Don't stress out about the gender of your friends, it really isn't worth it.
lol you are my opposite, I have almost no friends that are girls, and Im scared of groups of girls Obviously need to get past this if Im gonna find a girlfriend hahah.
I'm the same as Cornella. In middle school I was constantly made fun of by guys and no matter how hard I tried to fit in with them it just didn't work. I just fit in so much better with the girls. In high school, though, I had two great friends that were guys and that was about it. I guess the whole nerd thing made us have something in common. I'm in college now and I'm trying my best to interact with the guys. Unfortunately, my first instinct is to still go and talk to the girls that I meet and become friends with them. Just find who you connect with and don't base friendship on gender.
Ehh, I disagree. Having females friends is different from having male friends. You do need a good balance. Right now I'm leaning heavily with straight male friends. I need gay male friends and I've started to make more female friends. It's good to have a diverse group of buddies. I always try to make friends with people that can fit into my life and into the lives of the other friends I have. Perspectives are everything.
I'm only shy when I'm with people who all know each other and I don't. But put me with a random group of strangers and I'll be fine. And hobbies? I honestly don't have lol. I guess video games, soccer and traveling. I'm trynna learn to play guitar but ya I suck at it. Soccer is the only sport I actively watch. I'd love to play it again, but my past experiences with my teammates turn me off. That's the only reason why I quit.
