Hello, guys, girls and inters... Waz' up? =P Anyways, long story short I think my (female) friend's boyfriend might be gayer than a handbag full of rainbows me. I don't know. Overall my gaydar sucks... but from time to time he gives me the vibe. I don't wanna go all stereotypee in here, but... the way he sits and stands. He's an homophobe (towards guys, of course... towards lesbians he starves to be their lezbro... *rolls eyes* :dry; so that makes think he quites his sexuality somewhat. He has a bromance with his best friend (who is closeted gay, I'm quite sure)... :eek: I'm pretty sure he's doubting his sexuality. I know he has trouble "performing"... and I know there could be a thousand reasons for that; yet... as I said, I've felt the vibe. He might be asexual for all I know (given that he doesn't want to do it). IDK... Once again, there could be a thousand reasons for that. And, of course, I could be mistaken. I just think he's questioning. Any of you have had similar experiences?? I can't really talk to him about it, because it's so personal and asking would be, well... extremely rude (we live in a highly conservative Catholic country). It'd be pretty much outing him... so, that's off the table. I was thinking in meeting him and my friend and bring up the conversation on how was my coming in and coming out (I know he'd love to hear it given that he's said that he wanted to be my friend BECAUSE I'm a lesbian and he's always wanted a gay girl friend). But, that'd be pretty much all I can do. So, what do you think??? :eek:
maybe tell him you want a gay guy friend.i know that would make me open up feel more comfortable about it.
At the risk of being ripped on by the anti-stereotype crowd, these stereotypes didn't just come into existence in a vacuum. There is a definite pattern that a lot of closeted gay men have, and your friend seems to be one of them. Problem is, if he's homophobic, he may be still in self-denial, and that's a tough nut to crack. I tried telling one of my (really obviously gay and really closeted) friends one time that whatever he was, I was ok with it, and I'd care about him just as much whether he was gay or straight... and it went nowhere. It was probably another 3 years before he came out. So Burg's suggestion is about the only one I can think of offhand that might help.
Thanks for your answers, guys. XD I've been thinking in him a little bit. Once again my gaydar works 50-50, so I can't really tell; but he definitely gives me the vibe. I don't know... There's just something about him. But, yeah... If he's not willing to analyze his thoughts... or his brain is still blocking those thoughts, then there's nothing I can do. I'll try your "I want a gay male friend" tactic. Not sure it'll lead somewhere, but... I gotta give it a try. Thanks, people. XD
