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Doubting myself, again.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by julia, Oct 23, 2012.

  1. julia

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    I thought I was 100% sure I am gay but I'm starting to doubt myself like crazy. I like girls, a lot, and I don't think I could see myself dating a guy but I'm scared of what lies ahead. My whole life all I wanted was to be liked by others and to be accepted but I know if/when I come out I will automatically be hated and disliked by a lot of people and I don't know if I'm ready for that. Also, if/when I have kids I don't want them to be deprived of a father, it seems selfish to me.
    I'm just really lost right now and could use some support.
     
  2. bryan176

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    Your family dose not need to be the typical father and mother. THere are a lot of families out there that are raised one one parent. I have heard people say that if they are missing either a mother or father they become deprived which is not true. SHow your future kids that you can be a perfect family without the other sex and teach them acceptance and love. As long as you rase your kids the way you think they should be I see no problem. With missing the father.

    On a side note come out when you are ready and if you find out you are something else then accept that. I have always thought that I might not be gay but maybe a little straight but when ever I kiss my ex(his BF is fine with it FYI) it feels right. Just be ready what ever you do and take your time with your decision.
     
  3. pinklov3ly

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    Wow, I undestand how you feel, but I already have kids--3 boys. I'd love to have a little girl in the future, but it will not be the traditional way. I prefer not to have the father involved and I think kids can grow up without a father and be perfectly healthy. I have a brother, so it's nice to have a male influence around and my father as well. I used to want to raise my kids with their father, but it was impossible. I know it's a little scary thinking about the future and what lies ahead, but it'll be okay. They're plenty of people who love and support you, don't worry about those who dislike how you feel. And believe me, once you start thinking positive about the future, you'll see things differently. It gets better, I have proof :slight_smile:
     
    #3 pinklov3ly, Oct 23, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2012
  4. bryan176

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    Go with what she said she did a better job then me.
     
  5. metoo

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    I am in a very similar situation to you. I really want to know the father of my future kids. Know that he is a respectable man, smart, athletic, etc. However I would much rather raise my kids with another woman. I'm not out at all because I am too afraid of what people will think of me. Actually overall I am very afraid of what people will think of me which I am trying to work on. I find it hard to be myself. Maybe start dating other women and you may realize what a beauty it is to be with another woman, and you may work something out.
     
  6. julia

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    It's just, in my English 102 class, my teacher was talking about how every son needs their father and every daughter needs their mother. I'm scared that if I have a son they will be deprived of that. I know this is crazy to think but family is really important to me.
    And also on coming out I am scared I'll come out as gay but then realize I'm bisexual, or maybe this is just me being scared to come out in general.

    Thank you so much for your kind words, I hope you're right :slight_smile:

    I am too scared of what people will think of me, I think that's the very main reason I haven't come out yet. And I would love to date another women or even just experiment but I rarely ever go out and when I do it's with my friends and they have no clue that I'm gay. :/
     
  7. musicgeek13

    musicgeek13 Guest

    Just because you will not have a husband doesn't mean that your child has to be deprived of a male rolemodel/ father figure. There is probably someone willing to fulfill that role whether it be an uncle, a family friend, a teacher. Father figures come from many different sources.