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Not Being Taken Seriously and Not Knowing How to Come Out to Parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Adarya, Oct 24, 2012.

  1. Adarya

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    So far I have only talked to five people about my sexuality; a counselor, a teacher, my sister, and two friends, one of them being the girl that I have feelings for (a very bad decision on my part). Three of the people I’ve told were okay with it and accepting, but the other two it seems like I have a problem being taken seriously and the stupid part of it is that I’m not being taken seriously because of my age. I’m only thirteen, so when I told my older sibling she brushed it off and said that I should wait until High School and everything would change then- including who I like. With her it’s pretty much that whole “it’s just a phase” thing. What I also hate is the fact that I know my parents would probably react the same way. My mother’s always talking about how I’ll get a nice boyfriend, get married, and have wonderful kids (none of which I want) and she’s even volunteered to set me up on a date. She also jokes about me ‘possibly being a lesbian’ with phrases like “What? You want to date a girl, then?!” when I tell her that I have no interest in getting a boyfriend and then she laughs hysterically. I never answer her when she asks if I want to date a girl because I promised myself that this is one of the things I refuse to lie about, but then my mother just goes on and says “oh, you’re just too young to be attracted to boys yet; that’ll change soon enough.” even though she knows that I am more mature than most of the students in my grade. That is nothing compared to my father, though.

    My father is homophobic and an incredibly dedicated Christian, so there’s not really any chance of telling him about my sexuality. He has that small town sort of mind-set, so he’s very biased and prejudiced. I’m already on his worst side from a few things I’ve done in the past, so I know that if I were to ever tell him I was a lesbian the results would be horrific. Also, with the marriage amendment vote coming up in our state the subject of homosexuality is brought up a lot in my family and I can barely sit there while he throws homophobic slurs and simply idiotic phrases about homosexuals. It’s insulting and degrading and the worst part of it is that it’s coming from my own father and he expects me to agree with everything that he’s saying.

    I honestly don’t know what to do- the girl I have feelings for hasn’t spoken to me in months and when I finally saw her a week ago she didn’t even acknowledge me. My sister doesn’t take me seriously and it seems impossible to tell my mother and father, even when I know the walls are closing in.

    I made a deal with myself. I entered a writing contest a month ago and I wrote about coming to terms with my sexuality. If it wins, it’s published. So even though I’m going under a penname my parents will know I’ve won because of the prize money I would probably receive. I would want to tell them first, before they find out about my sexuality from a newspaper entry.

    I know its coming and I don’t know how to deal with it. That is why I’m posting this on the advice forum; what can I do?

    I need the people that I tell to take me seriously and not hate me afterwards.
     
  2. SheWhoHasNoName

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    I think that it's so cool that you are entering a writing contest. I know what your going through because my mom have the same views as your dad. Sometimes the best thing to do is just sit them down and tell them. Give them legit reasons why your orientation is not against the bible The Gay Debate: The Bible and Homosexuality - YouTube . Tell them that all you want is for them to accept you and still love you. If you can convince your sister then maybe she can help with your parents. Good Luck! :thumbsup:
     
  3. burg

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    good luck with your writing contest.if you write like you just did here id have high hopes.let us know how you go. even post what you plan to enter.
     
  4. Emberblaze

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    A writing contest you say? I woulda loved to enter that! heh, but I woulda felt awful if I beat you (not that I'm sayin i'm any better)

    Anywho, I digress... Lols, sorry.

    That sucks that you aint being taken serious due to your age though I know how irritating that can be eh.

    I wish you luck in the writing contest. I admire that you're using your writing skills in favor of the LGBT community and in favor of yourself. I apologize, for I'm about to digress once more ^^, but I been writin a fantasy book series myself and and I have a lesbian couple in there.

    But anywho, good luck and all that jazz!