This political season is absolutely driving me crazy, especially because of the marriage amendment that will be on the ballot in my home state of Minnesota. I see "One Man, One Woman" signs up around my neighborhood, and the local Catholic Bishop who lives just down the street has been on the news telling people to vote "Yes." As if this doesn't bother me enough, a Facebook "friend" of mine (now questioning friendship) posted something like "One Man, One Woman shirts at school tomorrow." To be honest, he isn't a really close friend, but I noticed that one of my actual close friends liked the post. :tears: I don't know what to think about this. This close friend who liked the post has been a good friend for quite a while. I came out to him on Facebook a couple weeks ago (we've both been too busy to really see each other, and I wanted him to know), and I've been waiting for a reply. One day in band, he came up to me, told me he received my message, and said he'd respond as soon as he had a decent Internet connection (for some reason he can't message back with his Internet at home). That was probably about a week after I told him. He looked a little nervous and shaken when he told me that. Anyway, he still has not said anything about my coming out to him. We still talk to each other in band (though talking is, obviously, limited when we are playing), and nothing has really changed on that note. He's such a nice guy, and I can't imagine him getting upset about me being gay. I just find it difficult to believe that he is against gay marriage. I'm just really confused because he hasn't said anything about what I told him, and now, he goes and likes a post that limits the freedom of gays. Sorry if I'm just going on and on. It's late and I'm tired, but I just needed to get this out there. :bang:
Well, no one said you'd be able to change your friends' opinions. There's still a possibility that they can be adverse.. it's not typical, but it happens. A prime example, my best friend who's straight will go out of his way to make sure that he is in NO way affiliated with being gay himself lol.. The fact that he's emotionally vulnerable to me has created that fear in him. It doesn't mean your friend is a bad person, it doesn't mean that my friend is a bad person. It's just a sign of immaturity that they will either grow out of or let it decapitate their friendship with you. They can change who they are in this regard.. you cannot. So you have to remember that. It's convenient to be what someone else wants you to be, I think we're all good at being chameleons. You just have to stick with who you are and be upbeat when you see him. He'll come around if he's a good friend. Politics become the same as religion for a lot of people. They are standing for what they stand for based on the principles handed to them by their parents. Don't let that phase you.
Well, I'm not sure if that's what he really believes. To be honest, he's not the brightest guy, and I fear his ignorance opens him up to zealots' influence. I just wish he'd respond to my message so I at least know whether or not he supports that aspect of me. I know it doesn't make him a bad person, but I'd just like to know.
I guess what's important to remember is that just because someone is opposed to same sex marriage doesn't mean they have negative feelings towards same sex couples or LGBT people for that matter. A widely perpetuated fallacy that I have noticed is the assumption that anyone against same sex marriage for any reason is anti-gay.
I'm often told that, and I know there is probably some truth to it. I just find it really hard to accept someone who goes out of their way to limit the freedoms of me, my friends, and the LGBT community. It makes me think that they see me as a second class citizen who doesn't deserve to be happy just because I'm gay. Actually, right now, I'm home from school because I have study hall for a few hours, and I couldn't stand seeing any more of those shirts! :icon_sad: It's not even like I hate school. I love school! Today was probably the first day I ever felt bad because of the environment at school. Lots of people were wearing them. Others were telling them to take them off. Whenever anyone tried to talk to them about the shirts, they just kept silent and continued on walking like nothing happened. It's pretty clear that their church leaders have told them what to believe, what to do, and how to react. They aren't even willing to talk about why they feel the way they do. It's as if they've been told that people would oppose them and they should "stay strong and carry on." Someone even commented on the original post I talked about that they would pray for the strength of those who were going to wear the shirts as if they were going out to war. Sorry for the rant, but I'm just so pissed off right now. This is really rare for me. I hate what all of this is doing to me. I, myself, don't tell them to take them off because I do respect their freedom of speech, and I feel they have a right to express their opinion. The problem is that they don't explain why they feel the way they do, and they just walk around like programmed robots.
I guess in my opinion someone who is opposed to same sex marraige is simply opposed to basic human rights for all. It's a bit like saying someone can be in support of segregation, but not have negative feelings toward African Americans. Or perhaps support for making birth control and abortions illegal, but still not having any negative feelings toward women. Sorry, Mojoe, your logic escapes me.
Exactly! I'm just glad I'm off to visit a few colleges tomorrow and the rest of the weekend. I just need to get away.
You can't change peoples opinions. Sounds brutal, but it's just the truth. One of my closest friends is homophobic. He's flat out told me that if we didn't have the history we do, he'd disown me. It's damaged our relationship, I won't lie, but I balanced out his good traits and weighed them out against his homophobic traits. I ultimately concluded that his homophobia was his problem, and I would/could never change him. But I value his friendship. So I distanced myself from his homophobia and tried to focus on his positives. What I'm trying to say is, your friend believes in something that you don't. It may cause rifts, it may cause offense and it may upset you, but at the end of the day, it's his/her choice to believe in what they want. You need to evaluate if the difference is going to dictate the friendship. If I was you, I would try and distance yourself from their views and focus/value their friendship.
Yes! I agree completely. When there are the same legal rights and recognition, I’m not so bothered by allowing religions to continue to discriminate, as many of them do. At the same time, I don’t think religions deserve special privileges, so I’m uncertain. A firm can’t for example forbid female managers or refuse to hire LGBT people, so why can religions forbid female clerics and refuse to accept LGBT members? I somehow think there should be the same rules for all, but I don’t know which rules provide the optimal balance between individual freedom and democracy on one side, and protection of human rights on the other. State enforcement of legal rights/privileges for some couples but not others is much clearer. It’s a simple violation of basic human rights, and should not exist in civilised countries.
