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Did you mom/parents stop buging you about 'girly' stuff once you came out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by metoo, Oct 24, 2012.

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Did you mom/parents stop buging you about 'girly' stuff once you came out?

  1. Yes

    8 vote(s)
    36.4%
  2. No

    4 vote(s)
    18.2%
  3. No, but there was less

    6 vote(s)
    27.3%
  4. Other (state below)

    4 vote(s)
    18.2%
  1. metoo

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    So basically, my mom is always asking:

    "Why won't you wear a dress/skirt"
    "Can you please wear you hair not in a pony-tail"
    "Would it be possiby for you to not wear a sports bra so much?"
    etc.

    This kinda bugs me. For people who have had similar questions asked, did you parents stop buging you about these kind of things after you can out to them?
     
  2. BradThePug

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    My mom did. I think that when I came out she realized that I was not going to change.
     
  3. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    I straight-out told her that I feel uncomfortable wearing girly clothes and I think it finally started to sink in once I had my hair cut short. I don't even own dresses or skirts so she never bugged me about wearing those. I do own really girly tops though and absolutely dread wearing them, and the way she carries on when I do wear them (which is only if I really don't have anything else to wear) makes me want to barf.

    My next plan of action is to get a whole new wardrobe and throw out ALL my girly stuff, shoes included. I think that would be the only way for them to really start accepting that I'm serious about this and that I'm not going to change. It's not just a phase or a fad.

    She does, however, bug me a lot less now that I've come out to them but I still hate having to wear women's clothes, even if they're not girly. I just don't feel comfortable in them. Wore a golf shirt to work the other day and though it was bright pink, it's a men's shirt and I felt good wearing it. So slowly but surely I'm starting to get people used to the idea

    Edit: I think the only problem area is when we're going to church. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it...
     
    #3 Ruby Dragon, Oct 24, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2012
  4. Maddy

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    Mum got worse about it for a while, and then got used to it.
     
  5. metoo

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    I really don't like it how my mom is always nagging about what shoes to wear and what to do with you hair. I always feel so awkward in girls clothes. I want to come out to her soon, partly because I want her to know, and also because I want all the 'girly stuff' to end.
     
  6. LightningRider

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    I've never really been nagged to wear girly stuff.
    Mostly my Nan and Mum like to mention stuff in the passing like "Oh that colour looks pretty on you, you look like a lovely young lady."
    Most recent from my Nan was when I was in town shopping with her and I had to go buy shorts for work she casually turned and said "You could always buy a skirt."
    Err hell no. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I've so far come out to Mum and she basically asked me straight out "Did me trying to get you into girls stuff annoy you?" and I told her simply, yes. A lot.
    I think she's mentioned it to my Nan to stop badgering me and my Mum has definitely stopped commenting on how I always dress like a guy.

    And my Dad has never given a care for what my brother and I wear so long as we're not too cold, too hot or uncomfortable.

    So I guess, in a way yes. But at the same time, it was never so bad that they were 'bugging' me :slight_smile:
     
  7. MyJunkIsYou

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    In my coming out conversation with my mum when I asked if she'd had any idea she said "Well you always were the alternative one compared to your sister, the clothes and everything"

    I do wear girly clothes sometimes, but it tends to be only if I need to wear something formal or a celebration like a wedding. Day to day I'm just more comfortable tomboyish. When I do dress feminine I get the whole "Oh it's lovely to see you in a dress for once, so much nicer".

    Now I just have a running joke with my sister, that if she doesn't like a piece of clothing and thinks it's too masculine, you can bet I'll love it. She sighs when I come home with more "boy clothes" but I tease her for example when she was going go-karting and realized she didn't own a single pair of trainers/sneakers so had to borrow a manky pair off a friend.
     
  8. loganjay12

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    At first it was hard for my mom to understand and quite frankly it pissed her off. But now she knows there's nothing she can do about it and she hardly says a thing about it anymore.
     
  9. metoo

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    This pretty much sums up what I deal with. For some reason it really bothers me.
     
  10. NordicSpirit

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    I voted no but just wanted to point out that its not a bad thing to me.
     
  11. Lexington

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    My parents never bugged me about girly stuff. Then again, I didn't have all that many feminine traits to begin with. I liked to sit with my legs crossed. And I wasn't great at sports (although I enjoyed watching them). So they didn't have much to push against.

    Lex
     
  12. Reader

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    I am probably the girliest lesbian ever! My mum has never had to ask me to be girly- I make my own pretty hair accessories, sew kitten-shaped buttons onto cardigans and love dresses!
     
  13. LisforLisa

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    I'm pretty girly so my mom really doesn't bother me about that.
     
  14. iBlakexo

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    I know this was aimed more at females but i guess i can relate on a totally opposite level if that makes sense.. They still bug me about not doing 'boyish/manly' stuff, for example "Don't do that, you sound like a girl" or "You're a boy, why do you have to shave your legs" etc. but since coming out as gay i haven't heard those types of phrases quite as much.
     
  15. metoo

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    Yeah, I understand that, but because I am not that girly, it still kinda bothers me. Esspecially when she gets her way. My dad doesn't care though.

    This is also interesting. I though that it went both ways.
     
  16. andersonh09

    andersonh09 Guest

    My mom never really bugged me about not being into girly stuff. She did give me a lot of grief though when I had Faux Hawk.
     
  17. PicketFences

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    I had to choose other because I am very feminine and if my mother and I have conversations about that sort of stuff I don't see it as her bugging me. I enjoy those clothes, shoes, makeup etc. sorts of conversations.
     
  18. Ducked

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    In the same boat - but not too into anything "cutesy". I love dresses and heels, but cannot stand anything pink/purple/flowery.

    My mother is quite the feminine type (gets those horrifying false nails with glittery bits on the end) but doesn't expect me to do this.

    My mum generally just wants me to go WITH her to girly stuff (e.g. sit around while she gets her nails done etc) but has never pressured me into it. I like the occasional mani/pedi anyway.

    At work I'm often the one left out though in this respect. I wear a pant-suit to work with white/light blue/etc shirts, and most of the other girls are into the bright multi-coloured skirts/top combo. My mum often tries to encourage me into those types of clothes, but I think she likes that I take it a bit more seriously.
     
  19. metoo

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    This makes sence. I would much rather wear pants and a polo than a cute frilly dress. On the other hand, cute frilly dresses do look great on girls.
     
  20. cutieboy201

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    My Parents still nag me about girly stuff
    Like the other day i was listening to Britney Spears and my mom barges in and yells "TURN THAT DAMN MUSIC OFF YOU AINT NO GIRL!!" then i turned it up louder X3 and when i wore my sisters black northface with tight sleeves my dad said "You better take that jacket off and put on ur other hoodie" i rolled my eyes and did it anyway That Northface was fabulous and i was pissed i had to go to school with that Loose Superman hoodie >_>