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Moving Out, Need Advice (kinda rambly)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by RemyLeBeau, Oct 25, 2012.

  1. RemyLeBeau

    RemyLeBeau Guest

    So I'm going to graduate from my online high school this year. Then it's off to two years of online college, and two years at an actual, physical college. Money wise, this is the best option, and I'll still get to go to college and whatnot.

    I have THREE options. I can move in with my grandma and go to school there. Pros: Rent will be less expensive, I'll be with family, I can focus on school. Cons: There are NO JOBS and I NEED A JOB, I'll feel awkward intruding.

    Option two: I stay home. Pros: I'll be able to get a job. Cons: so many it's stupid

    Option three: I move to the city where my girlfriend attends college and we get an apartment. Pros: I'm with my girlfriend and away from the hell that is my home, I can get a job, my girlfriend saves $3000 a semester, SEX independence. Cons: Rent, buying food and everything, the shitty economy again, balancing work and school.

    SO those are my choices. And option two is NOT an option.

    So let's say I do option 3 and move in with my girlfriend (who is TOTALLY for that idea). It'll be really hard to get a job in that area, but otherwise it feels like the best idea. I'm just really nervous that I'll fuck things up (somehow) for BOTH of us and that we'll end up broke and homeless...
     
  2. Dayon

    Dayon Guest

    To me it sounds like you should make sure your financially stable first before you make any moving decisions. Once you are, maybe then you can reconsider moving in with your girlfriend.
     
  3. if you dont already i would suggest buying your own food and basically use your current living space as a 'dummy run' for moving out properly. ive done this for a year almost and its hard but it has helped so much. i buy my own food, calculate how much i would have left after rent/everything then survive off what i have left (i save the actual rent money e.t.c for when i move out). i can do it and yes i do buy things i shouldnt here and there becuae i still live at home, but if i didnt do what i currently do then i would have a total shock as to how much things would actually cost e.t.c

    i wouldnt recommend moving in with your girlfriend if your relationship is still new and by new i mean you having not been together a year or two yet, the pressure of living with your s/o quickly doesnt usually end well. altho there are always exceptions. and idk the rules where you live but here you cant get a private place of your own (not meaning council) if you dont have a stable income and loads of other stuff.

    could you not rent a room somewhere rather than actually move out on your own? that would be much cheaper. but you are going to have to get a loan of money from your rents or something if you want to get a job in the city before you move so then youre more likely to get a place with a stable income.

    idk if any of this makes sense sorry! its really late here XD

    also you have to be 18 to sign legal stuff like house stuff.... dont you :s unless it is expetional circumstances.... im nearly sure, well thats what happens here anyways :s
     
    #3 flyinhernikes, Oct 25, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 25, 2012
  4. Joey4

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    I'll tell you right now not to move in with your girlfriend. If you're committed to accomplishing school online and in the physical from, then the failure of a relationship can derail that and put you back at square 1: Your parents house with no job and no school. Instead, live at your grandmothers. You'll find income some way.

    If you're going to move out, my best advise to you his have $2000 in emergency money. You will need it.
     
  5. RemyLeBeau

    RemyLeBeau Guest

    We've been very close for almost 5 years, flirting for half of that and being officially together for over a year by the time we would live together. She's already got money for an apartment, food and rent, she's getting a job at her school, and we're both accustomed to living on a poor income from our childhood.

    Also, my stepdad sorta hates me. Once I leave, I will NOT be allowed back. If I stay here, more emotional abuse and I can't do that anymore. I'm so fucking tired of the manipulative bullshit and of being called a retarded, lesbo failure while my mom sits and pretends not to hear because she's too scared of him.

    And my gramma probably won't take me in. I could ask my aunt and uncle, but I'm nervous now.

    My mom just gave me a lovely lecture about how miserably I'm gonna fail and how I'll get fired and drop out and FAIL FAIL FAIL STUPID STUPID FAIL was all I heard after that.

    I don't feel well.
     
  6. Crazyguy

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    What you describe is verbal abuse and I agree you need to get out of there. Is there any chance of searching out prospective job opportunities in the area you would live with your girlfriend? If you could find employment before actually moving it might provide a bit of a safety net.
     
  7. redstormrising

    Regular Member

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    being that you and your girlfriend were friends for years before officially being together, if your romantic relationship were to end, do you think you would be able to revert to friendship and continue living together as roommates? it's always risky moving in with a significant other, but given your situation at home, i think moving out is almost a necessity
     
  8. RemyLeBeau

    RemyLeBeau Guest

    We promised each other a week to be completely pissed at each other if we ever broke up. In all our years together, she's gotten mad at me once and I've gotten angry with her once.
    Both times the issue was resolved in less than a day. We'd be fine if we broke up.

    Also, she's getting the apartment whether I move in or not.

    I'm thinking of asking to rent out a room with my aunt and uncle. That would be a dream come true, and I'd prolly be able to get a job in that area.
     
  9. pinklov3ly

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    Wow, it seems like you have everything figured out. Ask your Aunt & Uncle then revert to option 3. I think you and your girlfriend will be fine. Although, once bills start coming in things can get stressful, but find healthy ways to cope. I lived with someone I was in a relationship with, but we bumped heads often, we were too different and it was a guy :grin:

    Just believe things will workout and remain positive and doors will open for you. This economy is pretty bad, so be persistent and it should pay off. By the way, enjoy the next chapter of your life :slight_smile: