Hello, I am asking for some advice from you folks who are probably a lot mere experienced and knowledgeable than me. I am a guy in my early 50s, and inexperienced. There have been no long-term relationships, no short -term ones either. There were some abuse issues when I was a kid, so I avoided exploring this side of life. I'm in my early 50s now, and I am at a loss. I don't even know where to begin. There were some recent health scares, and I am well aware that the clock is ticking. I would like to finally resolve this. How should I safely and discretely explore this? If you were me, how would you handle this? I don't want to come out, at least not yet. How do I even know if this is what I want if I've never tried it? But, I don't just want to answer some ad somewhere and maybe get killed, mugged and beaten, or set up for an arrest. How would you handle this if you were me?
If I was single I would likely try to meet someone online. I would take my time to get to know them, build a trust with one another online then talk on the phone and eventually meet for coffee some where publicly. If someone was unwilling to invest the time then I would move on to someone that would. I would stay away from a quick hook-up as it is risky. Have you dealt with the past abuse issues? I think that would be key before going down this road.
I second this. If you haven't dealt with your issues, it definitely is key before you can enter any relationship - straight or gay. And I'd wager there's a lot of stuff being hidden deep inside you since it's been preventing you from having any relationships for the 50 years of your life. I know it's a scary thought, but in all honesty, meeting someone for a relationship will be infinitely easier afterwards since you'll be able to put your all into it.
I did get some couseling a few years back. My perp actually m oved in withy hsi mother across from my home. I had never told anyone what had happened to me and I started coming apart over a period of about 10 years. Eventually, I told my family and moved away to another town. I was just so worn out from the flashbacks. I learned alot, but still have alot more to figure out, obviously. Thanks for the advice. that does ame sense. The last thing I need right now is more trauma. But, I find myself anxious to move forward.
Hi Crazyguy, I took your advice and signed up for a dating web-site online. I hope all goes OK. Thanks!
