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thinking about coming out to best friend soon ..

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012.

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  1. davidroberts

    davidroberts
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    i think its time to come out to my best friend. i m nervous about his reaction because he is really really important to me. i have tried to give him enough hints i think. still somehow i m not able to build up the confidence of telling him face to face. may b i ll write a letter or smthing :frowning2: lots of confusion :frowning2:
     
    #1 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
  2. Haley M

    Haley M Guest

    Don't worry, whenever you are ready I'm sure you will be fine!
     
    #2 Haley M, Oct 26, 2012
  3. davidroberts

    davidroberts
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    thanks emily :slight_smile: i m hoping he ll be fine too and still the same friend to me

    ---------- Post added 26th Oct 2012 at 09:43 AM ----------

    i invited him home next week . told him der is smthing really imp i wana tell u...
     
    #3 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
  4. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! It's great that you feel ready to come out to your best friend. Remember, if would have the feeling that it would not be safe to come out to him, you probably would not have come this far, and invited him and set the stage.

    Before he comes over, take a deep breath, and if you have to, it is okay to still write out what you would like to say. Sometimes, having a letter as a back-up, and having your thoughts somewhat organized can help in coming out in person. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Mirko, Oct 26, 2012
  5. davidroberts

    davidroberts
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    i will write a letter. i cnt tell him face to face i m sure.. still thinking what ti write in it

    ---------- Post added 26th Oct 2012 at 10:45 AM ----------

    thinking abt the letter since mnths.. i hope i dnt screw it up..
     
    #5 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
  6. burg

    burg
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    do you think he will be the most supportive with you coming out.after telling my best mate i found it pretty awkward till other mates knew 2 aye.i think he knew i had a crush on him.
     
    #6 burg, Oct 26, 2012
  7. davidroberts

    davidroberts
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    he is the dearest of them all and the only one i trust . i know it ll be awkward. bt if he understands and becomes my support. it ll be great. i may never tell the rest of the grup. but he is different
     
    #7 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
  8. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! Your first coming out is always the hardest one, and perhaps also the most awkward one. At the same time, the awkwardness will dissipate. From what you have mentioned, you know him well enough to be able to judge as to whether he would be supportive, and understanding.

    You didn't screw up anything. In fact, and maybe, knowing he will be coming over next week, will give you a bit of encouragement to work on the letter. (*hug*)
     
    #8 Mirko, Oct 26, 2012
  9. davidroberts

    davidroberts
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    i already gave him hints. he calls me flirty ( he thinks i flirt a lot with gals) i told him if i tell u smthing u will know dat i m nt a flirty u think me to be...
     
    #9 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
  10. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Well, that's a start...., and something you could use to start your letter with. :slight_smile:
     
    #10 Mirko, Oct 26, 2012
  11. burg

    burg
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    sounds like a good mate to tell.ill be telling one of my best mates whos coming back in town next week.hes good mates lives with a gay guy so should be easy.for once
     
    #11 burg, Oct 26, 2012
  12. davidroberts

    davidroberts
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    in my country its not very commen for the ppl to cm out.. so its litle dificult .. i hope smhw he understands all dis
     
    #12 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
  13. burg

    burg
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    im from new zealand unless your a gay girl its rare to come out 2.
     
    #13 burg, Oct 26, 2012
  14. davidroberts

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    how many ppl r u out too :slight_smile: i hope u have ur protective circle by now :slight_smile: i m from india.. ppl here have sm crazy ideas abt homosexuality :frowning2:
     
    #14 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
  15. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! Just reading that you live in India, and just wondering, do you trust your friend completely to be able to keep it to himself for now, until you know it is safe and okay to come out further?
     
    #15 Mirko, Oct 26, 2012
  16. davidroberts

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    ya i trust him a lot. only thing i fear is he ll change after dat. he may nt be comfortable around me anymore. i know he ll nt tell anybdy.. he is really sensitive and a great person. i have known him since 5 years now...

    ---------- Post added 26th Oct 2012 at 12:54 PM ----------

    your concern is genuine. as its really dificult for lgb ppl here. the govt has given its support bt the ppl have nt yet accepted it.. even most of my college friends think its unnatural (inspite of the fact that we were taught psychiatry in medical school )
     
    #16 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
  17. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Why do you fear that he would change once you tell him?

    Cultural and traditional beliefs can override what one learns in school or is taught. I can imagine that it is difficult for LGBT. (*hug*)
     
    #17 Mirko, Oct 26, 2012
  18. davidroberts

    davidroberts
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    i hope u r right . and he remains the same. in fact i have a huge crush on him :slight_smile:bt i m nt gona tell him dat. dat may freak him out more..
     
    #18 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
  19. Mirko

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    I'd agree it might be best not to mention to him that you have a crush on him. Hope your coming out to him goes well! :slight_smile:
     
    #19 Mirko, Oct 26, 2012
  20. davidroberts

    davidroberts
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    thanks for your help :slight_smile: will let ya know all how it went.
     
    #20 davidroberts, Oct 26, 2012
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