Last night ,while I was a bit drunk I told a friend (I'll call her Ciara) that I might not be straight, that I might not like boys. I'm a wee bit horrified about that, to be honest. I hadn't planned on doing that at all. It's not that Ciara reacted badly, she said all the right things; that it's normal, that I'm still the same person and that she won't tell anyone. It was still one of the most scary conversations I've ever had; I couldn't stop shaking. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. As soon as I was alone I ended up crying, and I've felt sick with nerves all day. I am really uncomfortable with someone other than myself knowing. Ciara won't out me, but I don't think she's going to let me hide either. She wants me to tell our housemates. I'd already half considered doing that (2 of my housemates are gay), but left to myself I could just put it off indefinitely. Now it feels like there's pressure on me and that's scary. She said that I can't leave college without figuring this out. I get the impression that she thinks that I'm lying to myself by saying I'm unsure. Right now, the possibility that I might like girls feels really unreal, like I must have been making it up. It might have been a mistake to tell her when I don't really want to deal with this and when I'm doubting if this is even true. I know this could have gone so much worse, but I'm still a panicky wreck. I'm not sure how to handle the fact that Ciara knows what's going on now.
Hey. First of all take a deep breath(be sure to let it out lol). This is a good thing. You are have a friend who you can talk to about how you are feeling and you know she isn't going anywhere no matter what. She might want you to tell your housemates so this way you are sharing that part of yourself with them too. I give you such props for telling anyone drunk or sober about what you are going through
My friend hasn't said anything about it at all since I (kind of) came out to her while drunk and its been a few weeks now. I don't know if she was tipsy enough that night that she forgot (very unlikely,probably wishful thinking on my part). It's probably illogical because I know she isn't homophobic, but the silence is making me worry that maybe she's uncomfortable around me. The uncertainty is making me really nervous and awkward around her. I'm scared of asking her whether she remembers though. If she doesn't remember, then asking would bring the topic up anyway. I don't know what to do.
I was exactly the same when I told my first friend; I was shaking uncontrollably, crying and felt sick. This really helped me move forward though and helped me come out to other friends. After that, when I came out I was pretty calm
