this has NOTHING to do with my sexuality first and foremost. Personally I am taken aback and offended by this. What happened today was went to my work (a supermarket) to get a few things and bumped into my boss who i had a few issues to deal with (long story short she put me down for overtime i blatantly told her no to but put me down anyway) and my mum phoned in the middle of it and i told her i'll phone her back. When I did she told me she was in the same shop I was so I went over to see her and she asked why I was at work and I told her I had to get a few things and I bumped into my boss. I never normally tell her about work stuff because she thinks I'll get fired if I put a step wrong so I told her I spoke to my boss but I'm not telling you what we discussed. All you need to know is I still have a job. Then suddenly she was like "maybe you should save up for a flat of your own". Honestly I see that as "get out of my house". Ive argued with my mum a lot over the past year but we had been cool lately. I'm aware I have been a bit difficult (I've been streesed about a lot this year and havent spoke to her about it because frankly she's shit at that kind of stuff-ie advice) but she also has been difficult. She has argued with my dad a lot too. My mum constantly tells me there are 4 adults in the house (dad 50, her 47, me 20 and my sister 18) and the house is too small for that but the fact is we are very rarely all together. I finish work at 9pm so when i come home my dad and sister are doing their own things in their rooms and my mum goes to bed at 10 so the fact we ever bicker in such a short amount of time speaks volumes about her as well as me. Fact my dad gets pissed at her as well as me proves she is a major factor of the tension of the house. Now I'm no angel. Im not perfect I am honeslty my own worst enemy and will highlight any and every flaw I have but I know Im not exactly in the wrong. I can act bratty and crabby but my mum is supposed to be mature and responsible and frankly she isnt. She fails to realise how confrontational she is and how petty and how much she overreacts. yes this isnt seriuous shit but it frankly fucked up my day and im in the mood for conftoning her in the morning about it
All this... and you want to stay? I'll deal with the emotional aspect of all this in a moment, but I really don't think it's good for someone to be in a situation like that. When there's too much stress in your life, you block it out subconsciously with emotional walls. Sounds good until you run into them. That's what I did, built walls, and now I can't talk about my emotions even if I want to. It's like having an addiction withdrawal, and no way to fulfill it. Even that was hard to make myself type. I believe it's possible to work past it, but it's not fun in the mean time. Now, for dealing with your mother. Tell her how what she said sounded to you. Tell her that it sounded like she was pushing you out and that you were offended. Have her explain exactly what she meant. Unfortunately, I can't tell you what else to do after that, as I have no expertise in such areas. Over all, I suggest moving out when you can as long as it's a better situation, without these negative relationships. Also, rush nothing.
She said sometihng about maybe i was at the age where i need to be on my own (im 20 which i think is an early age to live on your own ie not uni dorms as it is but i am very immature for my age. Not in a bratty way I'm just a 16 year old at heart) She moved out at 18 to get away from her mother so I thought she'd have some empathy in my situation. (She, unlike me, has always been very mature for her age) Frankly I dont feel like there's a need for me to move out. Yes there are 4 adults but 2 work 9-5 jobs (mum and dad), my sister is at uni 5 days a week and overall keeps herself to herself and I work at a shop so I have irregular hours, mostly backshifts which means when I wake up I have the house to myself and when i come home my mum isnt far from going to bed with the rest of my family so how can there be such an issue if we barely see each other. TBH I'm not scared of moving out. I just dont personally see me affording it. I just got a Job a year ago sio the idea of earning my own money (which she always puts me up for spending on every need my sister has) is new and fun. Im just living the teenage life i never had now ie going out with friends. I cant do that if i have rent and bills to pay (thats why she told me to SAVE for a flat not buy one now) but frankly if i save we'll just fight more. TBH as bratty as this sounds I feel like saying to her "you want me out. You pay for the rent and i'll pay for the bills"
