Well recently and for a while, I have been accepting myself and making plans to come out to people. I haven't really acted on it nor payed much attention to the subject until a few days ago. I'm not entirely sure why I started thinking about it, but I did. Therefore I came back here, to EC. I've been accepting myself as Bi, but some may say I am confused myself about what that means to myself as well as others. I've been classifying myself as Bisexual due to me actually being attracted to a couple (very few, and very rarely) women myself, though I am attracted to guys all the time. I thought since I do like both, I could classify myself as Bi but leaning towards gay. Then someone pointed out that I should classify myself as full gay. At this point, I am just confused on the subject and what I really am. I'm know I'm definitely one of the two, because I sure as hell am not straight! I hope you can help me out on figuring this thing once and for all to myself so I can actually get on with 'coming outs" and making sure I say the right thing! Thanks to all responses! ~Jake
If your attraction to women is not significant and your attraction to men heavily outweighs women, then personally I would drop the bisexual label if you don't think you'd ever really end up in a real relationship with a female. You can still be gay and find some women attractive, but do you feel that you would really want a relationship with one?
While I struggle with this topic myself, I do have something to say that maybe help in your 'finding-myself' exposition. As a person who's in the very same boat, I'd like to say that sometimes things are just better left alone until they unfold for themselves. Don't feel as if you need to rush to find yourself, and your sexuality. At a young age I know from experience how much pressure it puts on kids who're worried about their orientation. I say, if you like a girl, accept it, if you like a guy, then that's cool too. You don't have to label yourself. Of course if it makes you feel better, by all means, just try. Perhaps wait until you have some relations with both female's and male's just to make sure. Because gay men can be fond of a female body. In the end it's all comes down to sex. What gender can you see yourself having relations with in the future?
Thank you both for your responses! Overall though, I of course want a relationship with a woman and have a normal life ect... ect... I'm sure a lot of us do. I can imagine myself with a man or woman, but honestly, more man. If you mean a more emotional fellings-wise relationship, that'd be with a woman, if it were down to a more physical, definetly a guy.
He's like me o: I feel emotionally and sexually attracted to girls but a larger sexual attraction to guys, hence a girl with a strapon as my orientation
Haha that's great, but not necessarily. I may not have made the wording clear enough. I am attracted to girls in a most emotional, rarely sexual, way. Though attracted to guys somewhat emotional, 99.9% of the time sexual.
You know, I can't necessarily tell. I would think a bit of both. For the most part though it seems frendship.
Lol. First and foremost, you're Jake. That's who you are there's no title that defines any of us, it's just there to suggest we're common folk. Don't make it a big deal as to who you are, while a large part, that's not who Jake fully is. I would have to ask what the attraction is that you feel toward women and also that, you shouldn't let others influence you in this way. Hell, they really would rather you just say that you're straight if you have the potential to like women sexually. Calling yourself gay makes it an easier concept for them to understand, but it's not about them and their understanding. lol. So you kind of have to figure out what it is that you feel for women and compare it with guys. And if you're looking at them because they're pretty, well shit.. I do that. But I don't want to have sex with them. Figure that part out and you'll be fine.
Labels sometimes just help make things more confusing fro us. Why not say you're 'not straight' and then live on and who you fall in love with is who you fall in love with... (If only it was that easy, huh?)
Jake, I am Bisexual and also a guy. I am completely sure that I am bi, but I also realize that it alternates. Do you ever find yourself attracted sexually/emotionally to girls for awhile and then more toward guys for a similar length of time? That's how mine works. However, I am also 25 and puberty is way over for me... So... I like Hatter's idea of "not straight", although Bi is a great starting point. I doubt I am going to polarize one way or the other, but you still may over the course of your adolescence. Remember: Sexuality is a continuum and will evolve throughout your life. Be open and honest with yourself and you will know what to do! Good luck!
Lol i just answered a post like this one what you need to do is realize you can be just as happy with a man as with a women. Actually more happy and it helped me come to terms with this bye looking up happy gay couples believe it or not. Just realize its just as happy
