This has been bugging me for ages. I find it easy to refer to myself as "homosexual" or "gay". But I have issues when it gets down to using the "L" word in reference to myself. Like, why?? I mean, there's something particular about this word that just makes it really hard to use for I don't know what reason... Thoughts??
Maybe because gay has so many different meanings. And there are so many different contexts that it can be used in. Like every day life, everyone's used to the word "GAY!" being shouted from the rooftops. But "lesbian" is just lesbian. If you say lesbian in a public area; you draw attention to yourself; because many people aren't really used to it. Idk, just my thoughts. Maybe the world needs to be desensitized to the "L" word :]!
I think maybe that's partly it, but not completely because I find even trying to *think* that word in association with myself is really difficult. And since no one can intrude on your thoughts unless you speak them out loud or the person is a mind reader, that sort of cancels out the drawing attention thing...but yeah, thanks for replying, that makes sense.
I know exactly how you feel! I also find it difficult to refer to myself as a lesbian in conversations. For me it's partially because where I live being a gay guy is not necessarily more excepted, but it's a more open topic, whereas being a lesbian is treated in a completely different manner. And as mentioned above, it is a much more conspicuous word, than "gay" or "homosexual". The context that people use it in is also hurtful, it's always a joke, or scandalous when a someone calls a girl a lesbian as a joke, and it just makes me want to disappear. People have made me dislike that word, so I feel that even by using the word in the correct sense is weird. I don't know what kind of environment you live in, but I live in a little redneck, prejudice area and I think I just don't like using that word because people here always use it in a negative way, or make it into a joke. Don't know if any of this applies to you, but you're not alone in feeling strange using the word. :smilewave
Yes, there is something just oddly off about refering to yourself as a lesbian. To me it sounds like some sort of disease. I don't use the term lesbian in reference to myself, just gay. I think like KatoKumi said, its not a typical word in our vocabulary. It sounds strange coming out of your mouth, but people say gay all the time. Mostly to refer to something being stupid, but at the same time we have (as a society) become desensitized to using the word gay in reference to things. I say just say what you feel comfortable with, that's all that matters.
Haha.. I love watching The L Word, but like you I don't like saying it. I think it's because "lesbian" sounds like a type of alien. I could refer to myself as a lesbian, maybe, but definitely not often... But when coming out to someone I *always* say gay. But when referring to other people who actually are lesbians, I call them lesbians. Weird, eh?
Yeah some of that applies to me..I go to an all girls' school, and everyone just throws around the word 'lesbian' like it doesn't really matter while I sit there glaring at them, like "You have NO IDEA!!!" And also when I come out to people, I tend to go by 'gay' or 'homosexual' but trying to say the words 'I'm a lesbian' is like, the most impossible thing ever, I just can't do it. Maybe it's just the way the word itself sounds...I mean, that probably sounds weird but I always thought the word 'lesbian' sounded kinda strange.
Well I don't know if this relates or not but when I went to my Gay youth thingy I was having a conversation with a guy and he goes 'so, gay or bi?' and I sorta croaked the word 'gay' out :S I found it very hard to say ~ Idk Im sure you'll get used to it.
Personally, I've never liked the word lesbian. For some reason I find it offensive. A girl can be "gay" so why not just use it? I'm not saying it shouldn't be used - it's just that I don't like it.
"Queen", Here's the good news........."you know what you like". I think most of us agree. Zek24 "nails it". "Lesbian" by virtue of the sound it makes when you say it conjures up "terminal exclusion". Like there's an island somewhere full of those "Lesbians". Like a disease, lab experiment or and organism ( i.e. "the lesbians and mytochondria were seen moving about in the same petri dish, whilst their flagella's were flailing in the air!!") :eek: :roflmao: OMG!! Ok......back to reality. :icon_wink I think they call this an "idiosyncrosy"(sp.) but in any case just a word that rubs ya the wrong way! At the end of the day, I would not put this in the same pile as other more significant problems, small problem, really. Try moving past this........just a word.........you've given this plenty of time. Now get back to your "happy place"!! Stay Strong & Press On! You Proud "GAY" woman!! Suede7 Delray Beach, FL.
I think that the word lesbian is so often used in a derogatory insulting way that is it difficult to identify yourself with the image that this word brings to mind. Not only is lesbian a word it is a lable, do you need it? If you are happy saying gay, say gay, you don't need to say the 'L' word. It took me about two months before I could say my son is gay, I just kept saying homosexual. I couldn't get the word GAY to come out of my mouth... don't know why but now it's fine, I'm not exactly shouting it from the roof tops but I don't mind saying it if the topic comes up.
hmm... i think lesbian has had loads of negative connotations pushed on it. you know, those '70s man-hating bra-burning dykey feminist lesbians. with infectious deseases. whereas gay, although some people use it badly these days, definately has this feeling of happiness, because that's where it comes from. for me, i like to remember that lesbian as a word comes from the island of lesbos where the awesomely-awesome sappho lived and wrote lesbian poetry. so when i think of myself as a lesbian, i feel better if i think of it as denoting one of sappho's girls maybe that will help you.
Arneneithel: I know what you mean..sometimes I try to associate the L word with 'A shot at love with Tila Tequila' because the lesbians on that show (especially Brandi) were really cool, so it gives off quite a 'cool' feeling, but there are still so many times where I think of the L word and I'm like 'Oh my god...' Hmm, I think time is the answer yet again...(Geez can these things never be creative? lol)
Mayhaps because lesbian sounds like this whole separate deal: "I am A lesbian", instead of being just some attribute you happen to have, such as "I am gay".
I had that problem for a long time. I could tell myself I was "Gay" "Queer" "Homosexual" anything I liked, but actually admitting "I'm lesbian" was the most difficult thing in the world to do. After a while it became a lot easier to admit because I became more comfortable with myself. Although I can't say "I'm A lesbian", I can only say "I'm Lesbian". Mainly because I don't want to refer to myself as "THING" as a noun, but I want to describe myself, as an adjective. I hope this helps. And to help with the girls in your classes at school, I think you should give those girls a serve, like, say something back to them just to get your own back. Piss them off. Make them understand that we have feelings and that it's not appropriate to say that sort of thing. Wish you much love and luck.
I also thought the "L" word sounded awkward but couldn't figure out why it was any different from the other terms. I hadn't considered the grammatical difference that you just highlighted, and that does make sense.
Vampy, thanks, but I'm not going to try and 'get my own back' because as it happens I'm not 'out' yet, nor do I want to be lest I automatically get branded a 'freak' which is not something I particularly want...yep I admit I'm too damn scared..*cowers away*
Like seriously..O_O..when i first told my best friend...i was like "ok..umm...guess!!" and shes like "JUST TELL ME!!" and im like.."umm...ok....umm....Im......IM!!..IIIIMM!!ugh i cant say it" "SEB!JUST TELL ME!" "ok..im..ummmmm....ILL WRITE IT!!" then i wrote it it worked...i have no problems saying the word now tho....maybe its cuz ive known i was gay since i was like...12....welll..technically ive known since i was 7...like seriously O_O...cuz like i have a really clear memory of being in a store one time...and somehow my dad and the lady at the register got on the subject of me "chasing girls" and i was like oo "EWWW!!NOOO!!!I just like them as friends!!!" i kno..normal reaction..BUT what about this part!!she goes "would u rather chase boys then?" and i was like "well..actually*thinking not talking*" but i still said "EWWWW!" cuz of the way she asked the question...it made me feel like something was wrong with me....O_O......i was smart then tho O_O....wow..what happened?im not smart anymore T_T anywayz off subject...sowwy!!! and my advice is: maybe u will feel more comfortable with the word in a few years???(idk tho..i might be wrong)
