Just realized I'm gay. Now I'm freaked out.

Oh wow, it's relief to hear someone else having similar thoughts to my own! I have just recently turned 30 and have had the very same epiphany. It's funny that you say "Not into labels" because that is exactly what i used to say. It took some time to dawn on me, but as you have said, it became apparent that yes i am 100% Lesbian.
I guess it has been slowly making itself known to me over the last 6 months or so as i have fallen for a girl at work who is completely off limits. Prior to the 'realisation' i had never thought that such a thing would be so confusing. The emotional rollercoaster has not yet stopped. For a moment i thought it would easier to just go back to the heterosexual way of thinking, but it's impossible for me to even consider that now because i know. So now i bounce through perspectives constantly and can't speak to anyone who understands what i am going through. I am going back and forth and in between. I get excited about the world of possibilities that are ahead in the world of lesbian sexuality. But then sometimes it feels strange saying that, so i get confused, then realise i don't really know who i am now. Or maybe i mean where i fit. My compass has gone off kilter. I knew exactly who i was and where i wanted to go. Being gay shouldn't have any impact on those things if you think about it logically. Somehow though, it does for me.
I just hope it's all a thought process and you eventually come out the other end feeling better
So I guess what i am saying is you aren't alone! I too am freaked out and the last thing i want to do when i'm getting to know someone is burden them.

People who are out, have been here in the closet doorway before and would have an understanding of what it is like to be standing here. Maybe the right girl will be happy to share the experience and help you through it.

 

Why do your friends need to be gay? Does heterosexuality preclude the possibility of friendship?
Anyway, just go with the flow. I know that sounds like the worst advice ever, but there's really no way to make this happen. Just come out and let that be it.

 

Hi :smilewave

Your not the only late bloomer I didn't realise I may be bi until 3 years ago I am now 29. I thought it was pretty unusual to question your sexuality so late but it seems there are a few of us that have been though this on EC.

Getting a therapist is a very good idea they will be able to help you through this.

As for making new friends well that just takes time you may need to get involved in new activities or find an LGBT group in your area.

 

I was also was somewhat of a late bloomer didn't realist it till I was about 18/19.
And like you I grew up in a town very small town I just I didn't like any of the girls my age maybe 15/20. and I didn't know any lgbt people. and didn't dating anyone at all.
But when I was on a visitation to the beach I noticed that I could not keep my eyes of they guys. I am now working on how to come out, but I think I am going to wait tell I move out for college next fall.

I would go see a therapist if you want to just make sure they are lgbt friendly.

 

Hi. I am kind of in the same boat, having just starting questioning my sexual orientation seriously a few months ago. I guess I've had thoughts in passing for lots of years, but I was always able to push them down or tell myself they were something else until recently. I can relate a lot to what you're saying. I feel like I'm behind everyone else who figured this stuff out when they were in high school or even middle school. Yeesh. Anyway, I'm not much for advice because I'm pretty much where you are, but if you want to chat, feel free to send me a message! I'd love to talk with more people who get what I'm going through right now!

 

I came out on my 29th birthday. So ya, there are some late bloomers kicking around in here!

 

And even later bloomers... I'm 34 and have started coming out in the last 5 months. Everyone is telling me to take my time. I want to move forward full steam ahead but I've got lots of sorting out to do so I guess one step at a time really is best. There seem to be many people here who come out later and then enter successful same sex relationships.

Congratulations on accepting yourself and keep posting!

Rose

 

Be strong, do not be scared. Its normal to want to reach out to others of the LGBT community when you realize who you truly are. You may have a rocky road ahead of you I will not lie, but you again you have to be strong and resolute. Do not rush anything, do what you feel is right and never be afraid to ask us here for anything here.

 

Very Short version ;

I have had similar experiences to u , I grew up in a village where there was no gay people and I didn't know or realise I was gay , and had to work it out my self. I'm still working things out and understand completely where u are coming from. I have way more straight friends than gay but I want that to change cayse they will understand what I'm going through more. I didn't realize I was fully gay intill the last few months so I'm still in the earlyish stage my self. If u want to chat , please pm me

 

I too understand about coming out late.

I came out a month ago, and I'm 42.

If you can I would suggest to see a therapist as they can help a lot in figuring out how to learn to live in the now.

I have zero LGBT friends at all, but like yourself I too live in a Gay friendly city.(!)

The hard part will be to put myself out there to meet people. Scary? :eek:

Oh heck yes, But I believe that will be the only way to find friends.

You have to use the same rules to find friends as you did when you thought you were heterosexual.

Best of luck, and hang in there. Things do get better....honest

 

just act as if it were normal sadly society is judgemental get out there and try to make it work <3

 

how did you realize you were gay?

 

Plus side, I live in an incredibly queer friendly city. Downside, I have no gay friends!

You have a really great place to start here by finding an LGBTQ group and get to know people who will help you on your journey to find out more about yourself and your sexuality. Go out and enjoy that you are now in an environment where you are free to discover all who you are. Have fun

 

Hey, check out the "later in life" board - one awesome guy realized he was gay at age 70! So sweety, you are still a young'un to us.

As for what to do - what about finding a meetup group or activity group of some sort that is for LGBTs? I bet if you google your city + gay resources you will find a ton of stuff.

Congratulations on realizing who you are and enjoy the next steps - you get to be out there and experience some exciting stuff!!

 

Hey another late Bloomer here