? have this friend that ? REALLY like but ? don't know if he's gay or bi or straight. He sometimes shows signs that make me think he's gay, like once we were watching a movie and we were sitting on pouffes and ? put my feet on his and he made no effort to move them. Also once he was getting dressed after swimming and ? saw his manhood and looked away in fake horror and he kept saying things like "don't act like you don't enjoy looking" and "wiggle". And this one time he was lying on my bed and ? called him fat as a joke and touched his stomach and put my head on it and ? fell asleep and woke up like that and called him my "pillow". He has had a lot of gfs but never held a steady relationship and he comments on how hot a girl is a lot! Can someone please give me some advice?
Just ask him - tell him he's giving you these signals and you are not sure. If he is a friend - then tell him you are not hitting on him - you just want to know where he stands. If he acts like a dick to you - then you have your answer. With what you wrote - especially the intimate contact - I would say he's either on the fence or receptive.
Thanks for your answer, I'll be sure to try that but to anyone else who reads this please continue posting? ? need as many answers as possible. Thanks!
Hi there! Welcome to Empty Closets! From what you have said, he could be, but it could also be that he isn't. Are you out to him? Does he know that you are gay? I wouldn't asking him straight up, and potentially placing him in an awkward situation; instead if you are not out to him, come out to him and see what he says. If he is questioning, there is little you can do, but take a step back and give him the time to come to terms with his sexual orientation. Be there for him as a friend, so that he knows that he has someone to talk to, if and when he needs/wants to.
Thanks for the advice but he's one of those cool kids and I'm scared that if ? come out to him and he's not gay that he won't talk to me anymore.
the only way these situations solve themselves is if you ask, you will get a higher chance of a better response if you come out to them first, and avoiding coming out and asking at the same time to not overload their thought processes. from what youve put i think you're out of luck, the part where you saw his cock was probably just him joking around/ trying to get a reaction from you. the only thing that has some tangible merit is you falling asleep on him and him not moving, but you never gave us how long you were asleep. also im curious, on my keyboard ? is located nowhere near I
Haha the ? Is an auto text format that is not supported by this web page so when ever I type "I" you see a "?" But I see an i with a circle around it. Haha.
Hi there! I think one way you could approach the situation is tying to get to know him better. As you start getting to know him better, you will also get a better idea about where he stands, and whether it would be a good idea to come out to him.
I'm not sure how old you are but he seems to like you a lot. He also seems to not mind you are gay. I would bust a move and see what happens. But do this when the moment is right and nobody is around but prepare yourself for possible rejection. If you love him and face rejection, prepare yourself. It's not easy to remain friends because he may want the same thing and not even realize it. He may not be ready. It can be a very frustrating relationship to maintain. When I was younger I had a very similar friend whom I was madly in love with. We did everything together. He was one of my first true love's that proved I was attracted to men. I never got a chance to love him the way I wanted but we spent a lot of time together. Eventually I managed to gain the confidence to bust a sexual move but was faced with extreme anger. I was deeply hurt by this and shouldn't have been but I was young and not too sure myself. We remained close friends though and we always flirted with each other. There were other attempts on my part but he constantly pulled away and it really strained the friendship because I wanted more. Eventually the friendship ended and we split ways. After he went to college I learned from others that he was actually bi-sexual and I'm sure had many BF's as well as GF's going way beyond what I had experienced with him. He did eventually marry and have kids so today he's not living a gay life style which isn't that surprising. If you have genuine feeling for him, just be real with him. Be prepared for rejection and don't take it too seriously. If he continues to pull away try not to be hurt. Give him a lot of space and time to think about you etc. Trust me he will knock on your door but if he continues to pull away and never accepts a sexual relationship with you it will strain your friendship. However, life is all about risk so GO FOR IT. Your in a situation that could reap you rewards that people only dream of. I truely hope you get your man and it turns out well. But if it doesn't don't let it get you down. Love will come again!
I think you are assuming he doesn't care. Sometimes you'll be surprised. Does he flirt with you? Do you guys do physical things in a non sexual manner? IE Wrestle etc. Do you catch him making eye contact and staring at you sometimes? Does he call you names, like big sexy guy or anything? Are there any indicators that he might be interested in you other than what you previously mentioned? Also, how long have you known this guy? Perhaps you should try flirting with him more. First to see if you get any response, instead of jumping the gun and busting a move. I wouldn't plain out ask him if he's bi or gay or out yourself until you are more confident about him. Actions and body language always speak louder than words anyway.
You've gotten a lot of advice already, so I don't have much new on that front, but I will say that just because he's comfortable with being touchy-feely doesn't mean he's gay. I have friends who would probably let me sleep on their stomachs if I tried. I have a friend who will frequently let our legs touch and not move them. Both are very straight. And really, by the standards of these forums your friend isn't really that touchy-feely. Bottom-line though, I wouldn't pursue anything under the premise that he's into guys and is closeted. If you come out to him, you do so for you. If you flirt with him, then you take that risk. But assuming he's closeted is just going to make things messy.
