I know this is a typical question on LGBTs forums, but please take time to read it and i hope you can give me a good advice. First of all, i'm a guy, obviously not straight, but not gay either. I am secretly in love with my guy bestfriend. Here's my story: We we're in freshmen(hs) when we met each other. We became friends, then close friends, then bestfriends. When I say bestfriends,we're not the typical guy bestfriends you can see in school.TBH, we don't have that kind of chemistry to even be considered as bestfriends. We don't understand each other that much.We don't agree on jokes all the time,it's just like sometimes,there is nothing to talk. But we call each other bestfriend,weird right. But here's the other part of our friendship that is not typical. He's very touchy and fond of me. E.G he hugs on my back surprisingly,he sleeps on my shoulder, and on my lap. Well i thinks that the reason why i fell for him. Because of his charming self. I thinks he's not straight either, but he's confusing sometimes. Here comes the conflict: We had a fight, it's nothing serious, but enough for him to ignore me and never talk to me.It's my fault anyway. I tried my best to talk to him and finally we talked about it. He forgave what I did, and told me that nothing's been changed, that we're still bestfriends. Thats what i thought, but he changed drastically. He's not his usual charming self. He doesn't hug me, or sleep on my lap anymore. Most of the time, i feel like there's a huge distance between us. Well it's harder for me, because of my feelings for him. He even found a new bestfriend i thinks. It's a girl this time, I'm very jealous, but i can't tell him that. What should i do now? I wanna ditch him cause our friendship doesn't work anymore, but i can't because i love him. What should i do. :tears: Another problem is that we're on the same circle of friends, so avoiding him won't be possible. Help please, i feel like trapped with my own emotions :tears: I love him very much.
More than anything else, I have to ask how old you two are. Because with no disrespect towards you specifically, teenagers have a tendency to make things more dramatic than they need to be. That's not to say you're doing it, but it's easy to have a different perspective (a much more objective one) when you're well, not a teenager, and not everything is the end of the world. Anyways, there's 3 things I want to touch on: 1) If you have feelings for him, no matter whether or not you believe he's into guys, you can't be in a relationship in him if he doesn't know that. So you need to evaluate whether letting him know that you're into guys is worth it or not. And if you have told him already, then that gives him the opportunity to come out to you as well. If he doesn't, then he's either straight or not willing to come out, neither of which you can change. 2) If you are teenagers, then you should know it's not uncommon for people to switch "friends" rather often. Friendships are built off of things like similarity and proximity... now, you said you two weren't that similar, so it isn't surprising that he's drifting towards someone who's more similar than him. The thing with high school is that you're basically "forced" to be with everyone else your age, regardless your differences. This is part of the reason why people don't expect high school friendships to last forever, but expect college/uni ones to last much longer as you're typically with people closer to you. 3) I'm not seeing why you "love him". I mean, you don't have much in common, you haven't even really described that he's super-cute (like most people would...). To me, it sounds like you have feelings for him just because he's touchy-feely with you and you suspect he might be into guys. That indicates to me that you're interested in him more out of opportunity than anything else. By "opportunity", I mean your interest is there because you think there's a reasonable chance he could return your feelings for you. Even if he is into guys, if your friendship is more-or-less over, I don't think he's planning on returning your feelings. You know that this isn't going to work out well, so a good place to start is really owning the idea that you don't (need) to have feelings for him anymore since he can't return them. In general, the trinity for getting over crushes is time, distance, and distraction. If you can't get away from him much since you run in the same circle... try finding someone else to set your sights on.
im in the same situation. all u need to do is try to seperate yourself from him. it will hurt alittle but trust me it will help you in the long run. i did this with my former crush and my feelings for him faded away and after awhile we became best friends again. You should look for advice from someone like your schools guidance counsler. No matter what you have our support 100 percent <3
That would be considered the bromance where I'm from lol. If he's the ONLY boy you've thought of in this way, then it's very possible that it's just that. It's nice to have someone that's really into you and it's reciprocated. You just have to evaluate yourself a little closer. If you feel like this bond you have with him can't be duplicated, he's just someone you're really fond of imo.
Yes. You need to separate yourself from him. Your situation exactly describes (and I mean EVERY detail) a situation I found myself in when I was 16. Needless to say, he wasn't gay, and we stopped being friends. He wasn't worth friendship, in retrospect. If you really want to keep his friendship AND save yourself some hurt, then you should distance yourself from him for a while.
Hi guys! It's been like forever. I just wanna thank each and everyone of you for the advice. Things are getting better now,me and my friend are going on different colleges.I reached to the point where i can say i "moved on". Eventhough sometimes it gets painful, but the feelings aren't that strong now. Right now i'm 18, and a lot of things have changed. Maybe you'll think it's stupid, but i'm planning to confess my feelings to him.I'm just waiting for the right time. If he rejects me, then it's good, a complete closure. It will affect our friendship somehow. But at least, i can be honest to him. If he's a true friend, he should understand, if not then that's it, sadly it's time to end the friendship.. but anyway, that's the best solution i can think of. I hope it turns out well. Have a great day guys.
