So there's this really attractive guy on that iphone app for gay men, and we've chatted back and forth for a bit and exchanged a few pictures (clothed, with faces included). We're the same age, and we live about 2 miles from each other. I asked him if he would "want to hang out sometime or something," and he said he's down (yes). I'm not sure what to propose that we do. (I don't want to just go have sex with him. According to his profile, he prefers dates to hook-ups, so I don't think he's intending to just have sex either). What parameters do you think should dictate where we go or what we do? Are there certain social expectations for this sort of thing? I'm thinking we should go somewhere public where neither of us could murder the other (without getting caught, at least). Any suggestions? Also, is there any information we should (not) exchange before meeting? Like Facebook info, or phone numbers? So far we only know each others' first names. EDIT: I didn't know the name would be censored. Is there a rule against referring to it?
I would say, for a first meeting, some place neutral, like a coffee shop or restaurant. Somewhere public, yet where you can be isolated enough to talk. Don't go to his place the first time meeting (nor have him to yours).
Pretty much! Like a coffee shop or your favorite music store, if he invites you to go somewhere and you don't feel ready to go....just say you prefer not to, be trustful to him good luck!
you can tell him whatever you like but just dont give him your address. your number would be okay tho, if you want to. your mob not your house number id say tho so he cant harass your house phone if he turns out to be weird and you can block his number on your mob if he doesnt leave you alone. meet somewhere public. coffee shop or cafe. make it brief first meeting (i.e an hour or two) so if you can get a feel for him then you dont have him around for long if you dont like him. dont go off anywhere just the both of you first meeting (even second). but if you do like each others company first meeting might not want to over do it, want to be left with wanting more dont you? dont go to a bar or the cinema. a bar no because someone/he could spike your drink and alcohol is involved usually. even if you look away for a split second. the cinema because you are meant to be getting to know each other and you cant talk through a movie..... can you? if youre going to walk/drive home, walk/drive a diff way to what you usually would and maybe stop off at a store to 'pick up some milk'.... just incase he might watch where you walk as he could follow you but if you go into a store and just wonder round for a few mins they prob will give up if they see you havent gone straight home. ive met many people online and always stuck to the rules above. prob me being way too protective/cautious of myself lol but there are some weird people about.
Hi there! Yes, 18+ dating sites' names are censored out, and members are asked not to mention dating sites on here. Anyways, rule of thumb is don't agree to anything you are not comfortable with and keep it simple. As it was suggested above, meeting up at coffee shop or in a public place would be a good start to begin talking to each other. Once you sit down with him, you will have a good sense of how comfortable you are around him, and whether you would like to go for a walk or perhaps even dinner afterward. Exchanging a phone number is okay, however I would not go further than this at this stage, until you meet him in person. For one, you don't know yet as to whether or not the date/meet-up will go well, or if there is a basis for continuing to go on dates. Do you really want someone with whom you have hardly talked, having access to your facebook page?
I see, thanks. I'll be sure not to focus on the means by which we met. Those are good points about the misgivings of providing more personal info before meeting. And chances are I will be walking, not driving, so I'll make sure not to head right home (I can already think of some pitt stops that I could reach by busy public roads). I can already think of a coffee shop that lies between our two general locations that could work. If the first meeting goes well, then by that point I may give him my mobile number. The discretion of meeting someone via technology is really peculiar to me! I feel like a secret agent. I guess this is normal, though. Thanks for all your advice!
Sometimes it can feel like being a secret agent, definitely. And yes, it is normal and as you use dating sites more, you might also pick up cues from others, and thus also see what feels right for you in terms of sharing contact information, or any other information for that matter. Hope it goes well! Good luck!
I counted the number of asterisks. If it's the orange-themed one I'm thinking of, that app is notorious for sleazy hook ups. Note the absence of a successful straight version. There's a pretty good chance this won't work, so be aware of that.
I would even go so far as to say if it is only accessible via android or iphone app, or sounds related to a sex act, it's probably not a good choice for finding a LTR. Dating related ones will have a useable web interface, as that is more suited to setting up a somewhat detailed profile so you can find a decent match. You probably have at least heard of the one I am most familiar with, as they do goofy dating related surveys online. The one I am most familiar with is named after a cherub, but other sites will have names strongly suggestive of finding a partner. Some are exclusively gay, others offer a mixed environment. Most that offer a mixed environment will allow you to block straight people from viewing your profile if you want.
