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This Is Taking A Lot Of Courage

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Hmmmmm, Oct 28, 2012.

  1. Hmmmmm

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    It's taking a lot of courage to post this because I'm really putting myself out there.

    I'm 30 years old, a lesbian (although I occasionally have crushes on girly gay guys and male characters on TV shows), and COMPLETELY inexperienced and COMPLETELY isolated from the GLBT community. I have an informal diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome as well as severe social anxiety and agoraphobia which has kept me from ever having any sort of romantic relationship with anyone. I have never even kissed anyone, let alone anything else. I have no real life friends and no gay friends, save for one online acquaintance who is a lesbian and one former online friend who is bisexual. I live in a town in Ohio where there is one gay bar (that I know of) but I would be too afraid to go to it.

    Well, my reason for writing this is that I would like to get to know more gay people. I would like to make some gay friends. Male or female (or otherwise) does not matter to me. My therapist suggested that I try to make gay friends when I saw her last week and I know she's right. This is my attempt. I hope I can make some friends from this site. It would be really great if some people live nearby and we could eventually meet. That's just a dream, but I'd be really happy to make even online friends who are far away. Even if the friendships exist only in cyber land, that's fine with me. It's still a step in the right direction and will make me feel less isolated.

    So. That was it. I hope I get some replies or some messages from people.
    Thanks for reading :slight_smile:
     
  2. pinklov3ly

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    Well, let's just say that you've come to the right place :smilewave

    I would get into my whole life story, but I'm about to start driving. I think you should check out that local gay bar, you're bound to meet people like yourself. I know it can be scary, but once you put yourself out there, things will get easier. I'll be back with more helpful advice :slight_smile:
     
  3. Hmmmmm

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    Hello :slight_smile:
    Thanks, but I could never go to that gay bar. Firstly, I'm terrified of leaving the house and being around people. Secondly, I don't like drinking or being around drunk people. Thirdly, I would have no idea what to say to anyone. Maybe someday though, but that's just too much for me right now. Baby steps lol.
     
  4. silverhalo

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    Hey welcome to EC.
     
  5. whitwhit82

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    :smilewave Hi! I'm 30 years old, too, and recently started coming to terms with my sexuality. I think you're making a great step in the right direction. Have you ever seen the movie, "What about Bob?" His therapist tells him, "baby steps, Bob" all the time. My therapist is always saying, "baby steps" to me. Tiny, little, baby steps can add up to big change! Keep up the good work and I bet you'll be mingling with others like yourself in NO time! Nice to meet you, by the way!!!
     
  6. Hmmmmm

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    Thanks, silverhalo and whitwhit82! :slight_smile:
     
  7. silverhalo

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    You are welcome, just remember it doesnt matter how small the steps are as long as they are in the right direction.
    You will find EC is an amazing place.
     
  8. TheSeeker

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    Ok, a couple things... One: Welcome to EC! This place is filled with smart, open people who are very supportive of eachother, so we will happily be your friends! Also, coming out to yourself is a the most important first step along the road to acceptance, congratulations! Take things one step at a time, and I am sure you can find another woman who is willing to take it slow. Your sexuality is about love; the ability to feel love and be loved. It is a gift, so enjoy your exploration of it! You don't need to go to a gay bar, but maybe a local LGBT support group? Talking to other folks like us is the best thing you can do for yourself right now. You aren't doing or thinking anything wrong, and once that guilt goes away, you will feel a million pounds lighter!

    Good luck, and welcome to the fold!

    ---------- Post added 29th Oct 2012 at 11:02 AM ----------

    Also, go me for being the first guy on this thread!!
     
  9. Hmmmmm

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    Oh, I have no guilt about being gay :slight_smile:. I know there's nothing wrong with it and it's perfectly natural. I came to terms with my sexuality when I was 18. The first time I thought I might be gay, I was 7 or 8 lol. I just have mental issues that have kept me from doing anything about my feelings. That's why I'm seeking LGBT friends online... because I can't yet make them in real life. That's still something that's in the future for me. I couldn't even handle an LGBT support group because of my anxiety and agoraphobia. I hope to be able to do something like that someday though.
     
  10. PinkTractor

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    Hi and wlcome to EC. I live nowhere near you but would be happy to be an online friend. Drop me a note on my wall, and I will write you back, I promise!
     
  11. Adelaida

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    Hi! You made the first step; you posted on here. Nice job! :slight_smile:

    I'm from Ohio too! And it sounds like we have some things in common. Drop me a message sometime.