I have a friend who I can't quite understand, and it's been tearing me apart these last few weeks. It started a couple weeks ago when I first came out to him. He's a good friend, but this year, we don't get to see each other outside of band be ause he takes all of his classes PSEO at a college, and I take all of mine at the high school. Because of this, I came out to him on Facebook. A few days after I sent him that message, he came up to me in band and said he got my message and that he wasn't able t respond because of something with his Internet at home. He said that next time he was at the college he takes classes at, he would reply. Well, that hasn't happened yet. When he came to tell me he got the message, he looked really nervous and rather awkward. He is honestly one of the nicest guys I know, and I find it hard to believe that he would just stop talking to me because I'm gay. In fact, the other day in band, he said something like, "Fishman27, nice solo! You're like the only one I can hear play it. Nice job!" He said it as he would anything else. It's not like he was saying it negatively or anything like that. OK, so a few days ago, I messaged him again and asked if there was something wrong between us. I explained how he seemed a little off when we'd talked before and I was concerned about our friendship. I asked him to text me if he wasn't able to reply. I still haven't heard anything from him. I resorted to asking his girlfriend who I'm really good friends with, too. She knows I'm gay and is extremely supportive, and I was hoping she might know if something is wrong. It's only been a day, but I know she has seen the message. Yet again, no response. I may just be getting myself overly worked up about this, but does anyone have any advice?
I just realized there is something I forgot to mention. Last Wednesday, one of my Facebook friends (or rather former Facebook friend) posted something like "One Man, One Woman t-shirts tomorrow." Apparently, high schoolers of the Catholic church decided to all wear these shirts on that day. This friend who I'm having troubles with liked that post. To be honest, he is not terribly bright, and I'm afraid he doesn't think for himself when it comes to what his religious leader tells him. I'm afraid he blindly accepts it. Like I said, he's not the kind of person who I would predict would openly oppose something like gay marriage, even if it was a part of his religious ideology. I don't know what I should do when I see him tomorrow. :bang:
in truth im honestly not sure, all i have is two thing. A) if you are confident enough to talk to him about it face to face, when you get a chance pull him aside and address the situation. B) if he is someone who is influenced heavily by such things like you mentioned, he may be struggling himself on where he stands and might need some time, i know waiting on things that are so prominent and important can be painstaking but a lot of times you find your mind is your greatest enemy and you wind yourself up further than is justified.
He finally did reply today, but I don't totally get everything he said. He wanted to clarify that just because he was Catholic didn't mean he hated gay people. I was never under the impression that he hated gays because he was Catholic, it apparently he felt he needed to clarify. In fact, I didn't even know he was Catholic. Anyway, he said that the Catholic church isn't against gay people, just the sin itself. I'm having a tough time picking this concept apart. How can you not have a problem with someone if you believe that what they are is sinful? I've heard the argument before by the Catholic church that being gay isn't bad as long as you behave as someone who is straight and don't do anything that is gay. What if I was to tell them that it was OK for them to love their boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse as long as they didn't express their love for them. I don't get it! :bang:
unfortunately you cant always decipher other peoples thought processes, especially those of people who have strong beliefs in one thing or another. as hard as it can be the best thing to do is to just get past it. just keep being friends, let him know that its a real thing and its not going to go away but you are still the same exact person and it isnt like you will be waving it in his face. basically like the whole idea of agreeing to disagree. it can be difficult and hard to understand but it is the same for him. especially as he has no real grounds for his beliefs other than because he was told to believe that.
That's what pisses me off the most. He's a good guy who blindly follows a religion that persecutes his friends. I generally try to keep an open mind about religion despite being atheist, but Catholicism seems to make me just livid! :tantrum:
well its not Catholicism in general, there is a catholic church near where i will be living that supports openly. just some people and churches. i guess the main point is that not everyone can easily resolve such ideas to themselves. It makes you mad and it suck but there really isnt anything that can be done, so what point is there in being angry. just like he has no choice but to accept it, sometimes that applies to both sides
Yeah, I know. It's just frustrating because I live in a really conservative part of the country, and as a result, a lot of my friends have been brought up conservative. I just got so frustrated when my friends don't think for themselves. I know not all Catholics are like this, but these are the teachings of the Catholic church in my area and in a lot of other areas. I've heard these illogical arguments before. I do have Catholic friends who are incredibly supportive and don't listen to those parts of the teachings, but it seems like all those who are über religious DO.
yeah, i feel bad that you have to live with that, i guess you can look forward to eventually living somewhere more comfortable, cities are normaly much more dense with accepting people. i guess all you can do is stay proud. dont be discouraged, you are who you are and you should wear that well.
