ok, i am a pansexual/bisexual male (however you choose classify) and the idea of receiving anal appeals to me greatly, i have a gf who is also pansexual and we are both pretty far on the adventurous side and have been tossing around the idea of purchasing a strap-on. the only problem is whenever i try to analy masturbate i dont enjoy it. at first having something in there is extremely arousing, but it never goes farther than that, there is no sexual pleasure what so ever,and is often painful, and it ruins it for awhile and i dont like to think of it, but then after a couple weeks the idea winds me up all over again and i want it again, but of course the whole cycle repeats. does anyone have any advice or insight i really am not sure what to ask for. i suppose my end goal is to enjoy anal stimulation but dont know how to fix this.
Welcome to the forum! Since you put it out there, I'm going to ask some personal questions. I want to help you, since I love anal, and I want everyone to know the joy of having it up the ass. When you masturbate, what are you doing?
well i have tried a few things actually, i have tried one to two fingers along with that trying to find my prostate, which i either seem to be failing at or as i said just lacks in sexual pleasure. othertimes i have tried using objects the typical are some paintbrushes i have as the vary quite a bit in size and shape and tried to see if going farther would help or possibly produce a more full feeling. none of which have succeeded
Before purchasing a strap-on, what about buying a small dildo or butt plug and getting used to that? Also are you relatively relaxed while doing this?
Start with small dildos, butt plugs, etc, use lots of lube, and don't rush anything. And you may just not be wired to enjoy anal, which is also fine.
Well, first, what I'm gonna say is that you should try to find a dildo, or some kind of other sex toy that's actually designed for this sort of thing. The one that I use is 5.5" long and 3.5" in circumference, and it's flexible. Never use substitute objects. If you don't have something engineered to be a sex toy, you should only use your fingers. The next thing is how to find your prostate. I can't really help you there, because I haven't found mine yet, or if I have, I don't know how to stimulate it. For me, what's enjoyable about anal play is the movement of whatever the object is, and the feeling of being filled. It's not the prostate thing. Are you using lubrication? When I finger myself, I do. Another thing I guess is patience. Sometimes, you're just tight. If you have a dildo (please get one if you don't have one, and you want to start small, like in the range I described), you can get it lubricated up and then just push lightly. Relax your sphincter and just feel where your dildo moves. Don't ever push it any farther than it wants to go at each moment. Concentrate on how that feels--being relaxed and also filled. You'll need to be in a comfortable position for this, perhaps sitting. But basically, the more you relax, the more you will be able to push it up there safely. You don't actually have to go that far. Maybe it's just my experience, but I find that movement is better than depth. Even three inches can feel amazing.
yeah i have been thinking that i needed to get one wasnt sure how much of a difference it would actually make. guess a pretty big one. thanks for all the input, feel free to keep posting anything helps.
Yes, it makes quite a difference, and actually flexibility is important. I would just try not to get one too big. I am confident that the dimensions of the one I got for myself and enjoy greatly will work for you, because I am a huge wimp, so unless you're wimpier than I am, which is doubtful, you'll manage just fine. Have fun!
