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I have no real desire to live

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ty, Feb 8, 2008.

  1. Ty

    Ty Guest

    Surprise! Its me =/

    title says it all really... i have nothing motivating my life, majority of my emotions are negative. Theres so much I could type but I'm not gonna make this thread long..

    Why do I have to be unhappy ?
     
  2. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    You don't Ty! Choose happiness. Do at least one thing everyday that makes you happy.
     
  3. Suede7

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    Ty,

    Some of what you're going through is just "growth". Growth is joyous and painful all at the same time!
    Becky nailed it! Do you get that "YOU" are in charge here. It's your life everyday. "You" will have more influence over the outcome of your day that any other single element of influence in your life. You make choices to act. Look for actions that will provide you with an outcome that you might like (positive )
    Ty......look you need to work it out. Your independence depends on it! You see you can't always depend on others to make you happy. Look within yourself (seriously) ask yourself what is it (be specific), just one thing, that would make Ty happy?
    The conversation needs to start there. That will be the platform that will allow you to start building a "happier space".
    If you want help, you must prepare yourself to help yourself. Realize there might be alot of work to do here. Changing our behavior is really hard. Your have fallen into a pattern of negative thinking that can be hard to "break". Habits take most of us about 90 days before we muster a new routine. All bets are off that we will succeed with our "new habit", relapse is common. We are "creatures of habit" and unfortunately we don't deal well with "change".

    Ty, not knowing your back round there may be a lot of underlying "baggage" here. I will tell you, if that is the case I would strongly advocate seeing a qualified councilor. You deserve to give that to yourself. You deserve to be "happy"

    I know you feel stuck and like you might be alone in this........so let me help. This morning there's a little girl in Savannah,Ga. who's wondering if her mommy will live to see tomorrow. Her Mom,was burned in a factory fire yesterday, receiving 1st degree burns over 90% of her body and is in critical condition with no real hope of recovery. There is a little boy in Felujah, who's Mom and Dad were bystanders of an "IED" attack last year. To date he is wandering the streets with his younger brother, begging for food!
    My point here is to help & not to make you feel bad. I want you to understand the people I described are dealing with unthinkable "unhappiness" as a result of situation that was well beyond their control. You my friend have an "Opportunity" to change (your attitude) a situation that is well "Within Your Reach"! That's right.......you "CAN" control the outcome of how you're feeling by starting with your attitude.
    Keep up the dialog (I see you have no trouble with that) & we'll continue to provide our support.

    Hang in there!
    Stay Strong & Press On!!

    Suede7
    Delray Beach, FL.
     
  4. Louise

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    As a teenager I never really understood what all the adults were banging on about with attitude but in fact your choice in your attitude towards life changes EVERYTHING. I'm not kidding, you can chose to see all the negative things around you, all your problems and worries or you can make the conscious choice to push them to the back of you mind, deal with them one at a time as the come up and get on with living your life and seeing something good in everything.

    Example ; you trip over your shoelace and make a fool of yourself in front of your mates... humiliating but you just have to laugh at yourself a bit and be happy that you didn't put your arms out to brake your fall and break both your arms! If you look hard enough there is normaly something either humourous or worse that could have happened.

    If you practice looking at life like this, especially if it doesn't come naturally to you, you will soon get the hang of it and life won't seem so hard or the problems so insurmountable.

    You can do this, I know you can :kiss:
     
  5. Nicvcer

    Nicvcer Guest

    I feel the same as Ty. I didn't always used to, but every now and then I just feel I'm invisible, devoid of purpose and stripped of meaning. Methinks I just need a boyfriend -_-
     
  6. Louise

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    Methinks you are undoubtedly right. Here take this from me while you are waiting :kiss: (*hug*)
     
  7. Jim1454

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    Sometimes it's very hard to find purpose - if things seem to be piling up around you.

    It's very true - that you have to be in charge of how you feel. Nobody but you will make you feel better. It's tough to do though when you put so much pressure on yourself to be a great student, a great son, a great friend, (a great contributor to EC!!!), etc...

    But stop and think about what you'd like to do - even if it is at the expense of the other things I've listed above. Go to the movies. Sleep in. Buy some new music. Buy a new shirt! I don't know what it might be, but do something for yourself.

    Do it even if you don't want to do it. It's usually the things that we DON'T want to do that we need to DO!
     
  8. XxTheNumbOnexX

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    I know EXACTLY how u feel...its like..everyday..same thing..wake up...music...school..T_T..but my advice...is....just keep being yourself..and....trying to be happy..and maybe something good will happen..sorry....my advice probably sux T_T i tried tho...
     
  9. GlindaRose

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    Have you ever read 'The Secret'? If not, do so. It explains about the Laws of Attraction, meaning positive attracts positive and vice versa, so positive thinking is the key.

    I can also prove that positive thinking works with this example. Me and my piano teacher were in a lesson, and I found something hard so, being me, I started complaining about it, and got really flustered and whiney and annoyed and blah, and we ended up not on very good terms at all. The next week, I had my lesson again, and found something hard again, but I didn't complain at all, I just got on with it and practiced it how she told me to. At any rate, we finished the lesson on good terms and a feeling that I'd actually achieved something.

    So yeah. Positive thinking is the answer to everything. :grin:
     
  10. KatoKumi

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    I hate reading these threads because I always develop such a negative thought. I mean, it's okay when I think it about myself, but I always feel so heartless saying "Someday, this pain will be useful to you." Because, basically, that's what I do in my everyday life. Every day that passes by, it's not supposed to be great all the time. It's supposed to give you something to learn and use throughout your day to day life. It's meant to be like, something you can recycle and give to other people, to help them in their hard life. Well, at least that's what I think. I have like, a report written on this; so I'll just stop it there.

    Sorry if that seemed a little harsh. I don't know; I can't really tell anymore.

    But, I love you, Ty.
    If you need to talk, I'll try to help.
    .__.
     
  11. Bader

    Bader Guest

    awwwwwwwwwwwww
    at one time i had no desire to live either, but as someone once told me wait till u have someone to live for.
    Love you ty !
    Be Happy!
     
  12. panda

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    Tyrone All I know of you is from your posts.What I see is a smart, caring, funny, good looking young guy with a fantastic future.The struggles you are going through are difficult but I see that you keep trying, you keep asking questions,you care about other people.
    You're at the beginning of a wonderful life.I can see you as an inspiration for others.You have so much to give to the world.
    Turn a frown upside down.Positive thinking.
     
  13. BabyBoy

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    I don't know you, but you should know, that no matter how awful you feel, it ALWAYS gets better. I know this because I've felt the same way as you numerous times. It'll be ok. Look for the things that do motivate you to live, such as your possible future, and love.

    Everybody here seems to love you, so there's one down already. (*hug*)
     
  14. Level N Human

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    You know I often feel this way; like I am headed nowhere, and I don't even know why I am going through the motions to get my degree in whatever, get a job, make money, and then what? So that I can merely continue to live? Once in a while I have to put a check on myself and go do something fun, like take a day off to do something I enjoy and run around the beach, or go painting in the park, trespass interesting areas, or anything really. Go do something you enjoy for the sake of pleasure, because you'll realize that you had a lot of fun, and I think all those other things we do that aren't so enjoyable are so that we can continue living out the parts that make us happy. Living isn't one big high where we are constantly happy - who is? But when we are, it sure is worth it isn't it?
     
  15. Ty

    Ty Guest

    I just want to die...
     
  16. beckyg

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    Ty, do you know how many people here love you? Do you know how many people here at EC would be so sad if anything happened to you? Pull yourself out of this buddy. Turn your thoughts around. Think of something that makes you happy. Do something that makes you happy.
     
  17. GlindaRose

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    How could you say that you just wanna die when there are so many reasons to live?! Do what Becky said and turn your thoughts around! As I said before, POSITIVE THINKING IS THE ANSWER.
     
  18. Paul_UK

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    Hang in there Ty, thinks WILL get better.

    You've achieved a lot this year already. You've met some other gay people at that youth group and in a gay pub. That is a big step.

    Plus you've been approved for Mensa. OK, that's nothing to do with being gay, but it should help you get into a decent college or university which with luck will have decent gay societies.

    So what's ahead? A boyfriend would be good, and that youth group or the pub would be a good place to find one, so stick with that. Even if you don't get a boyfriend you'll make gay friends which is always good. People who understand and who you can just be yourself with.

    Parents.... that's a sticky one. From what you've said I'm sure your mum already knows and is just waiting for you to say something. If you can I reckon that will ease things at home and remove the stress of hiding yourself. However I can also appreciate not wanting to 'rock the boat' - things are OK and you may not want to disrupt that.

    When do you leave school? This summer or next summer? Getting out of school and onto college or into work would be good for you I think.

    It's all ahead, just hang in there and things will get better. I promise. (*hug*)
     
  19. Ty

    Ty Guest

    I leave school next summer and will be going onto sixth form. I really just want to move out, i dislike living here so much with 2 brothers and 1 sister my house is constantly messy and untidy and just disrupted. I find it impossible to do homework, my grades will proberly fall, i need to get into the best university i can but im not going to like this.

    I can't stand disorganisation, it really really bothers me. I don't know if thats me just being sterotypically gay or if i just really can't stand it.

    the fact that the plastic covering of this computer table also pisses me off alot. garh

    im so sorry for making this thread. it proberly all sounds ridiculous and pathetic and argh but i cant stand it. i'd prefer if i hadn't been born..
     
  20. GlindaRose

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    Don't you dare apologize for making this thread. Everyone goes through hard times and I believe ALL PROBLEMS DESERVE A SOLUTION. No you are not forgiven, because guess what? THERE'S NOTHING TO FORGIVE. You didn't do anything wrong.