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I thought my mom was supportive!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MC Nickayyy xD, Oct 29, 2012.

  1. MC Nickayyy xD

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    So this weekend I came out to the family but apparently the news didn't reach my school. Today, when a girl commented on a guy's butt (guy was gone) I agreed with her. I also attempted several other ways to come out today (dunno if they worked) well when I get home, my sister, whom I told about my attempts, made me tell Mom. Well, the minute my sister left the room, my mom tells me to stop being so public, and asked why I wanted to come out to everyone so bad. Just a few minutes ago, she threatened to ground me if I attempted to come out tomorrow.

    Please help!
     
  2. burg

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    do you think she will consider going to support group for parents with gay kids.im pretty sure she is just trying to protect you your her kid and i doubt she wants you bullied ect.im guessing that's her reasoning.but if your ready to come out i think you should be supported.congratulations on your progress anyway man.
     
  3. kageshiro

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    Hm. How would you describe the relationship between you and your mom up until now? And do you have a clear understanding of her stance towards LGBT couples? If it's unavoidable, and the alternative is being grounded and mistreated by your mom then the best option may very well be to just play along for now and not be as outspoken about your sexual orientation around her. At least until you feel confident that bringing it up around her won't result in punishment or some form of direct hostility. There may be a chance she'll forget about it after awhile and not give you any more trouble for it. Though of course I can't say that for certian since I don't know much about what kind of person she is...
     
  4. Gen

    Gen
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    Well the best way to go about this is communication, communication, communication.

    There are essentially two options on why she wouldnt want you to be open with your orientation. She is either afriad of how you will be treated, or secretly ashamed. Either way, both of those issues need to be discussed because she cant expect you to stay in the closet forever. Although some wouldnt recommend being so open in highschool, you should do what you feel and she should be there to support you either way.
     
  5. MC Nickayyy xD

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    When I came out, she told me that if someone was rude that I should tell her. As for her stance on LGBT couples, she has a bi sister who she talks to all the time. I guess I'll play along >_<

    Oh, and my Mom and I have always been close.

    ---------- Post added 29th Oct 2012 at 10:24 PM ----------

    I am small for my age but she said she would handle it if someone messed with me, at first. As for being ashamed, I don't know....

    ---------- Post added 29th Oct 2012 at 10:24 PM ----------

    I am small for my age but she said she would handle it if someone messed with me, at first. As for being ashamed, I don't know....

    ---------- Post added 29th Oct 2012 at 10:25 PM ----------

    That doubled posted, my apologies
     
  6. burg

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    she is trying to protect and support you be thankful for that she sounds like a mint mum aye.but if you think your ready to come out more, let her know why you think your ready and how you plan to. let her tell you her concerns to.
     
  7. kageshiro

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    I guess I jumped to the conclusion that she's completely non-tolerant and posted accordingly, sorry about that. But since you've always got along well and she's just fine around her sister then I can't understand why she'd have any problems with you being bi.

    For the most part I agree with Gen's post. And the bottom line = whatever approach you decide to take to this should fit your own assessment of the situation (as well as personal level of comfort) since you know yourself and your mom better than any of us do. I'd only advise lying low about it from now on if you're certain she's not going to handle it well (however your last post seems to not imply this as much) since you're 15 and have quite a few years of life at home with your parents ahead of you still. And I can only imagine all the kinds of hell home-life as an openly LGBT teenager with non tolerant parents must be like.
     
  8. MC Nickayyy xD

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    I'll stick to the shadows, like an assassin. (Tomorrow! Can't wait!) And didcuss it after she's had a little more time. I guess giving them one weekend was a bit rushed xD