(Gay) I honestly CANNOT tell if he likes me or not?!

Well, I think we need to address something first. At 5-4 and 138, I would beg of you not to continue to lose weight. If you want to work on your body than working out is great, and if you naturally lose weight than that would be fine. But it would be really unhealthy for someone in mid-teenage years to try dieting and lossing a lot of weight when they are already small to begin with. As long as you arent overweight, weight doesnt really help appearance. Tightening and toning can, but weight is very specific to the person. Its ok, to have stretch marks, almost everyone does. I do :L. I dont care what description of yourself you paint for us, I have no doubt you are amazing, and have no right to think of yourself as any less. Please dont be so hard on yourself (*hug*).

As for the guy, he is definitely a suggesting fellow :lol:. I actually have a similiar relationships with some on my current and past friends. He could be gay or bi, he could just be a very open and comical person. My friends joke around like that all the time. First, I would say to give back what he is giving to you. Dont take it so seriously. I used to freeze up when people saids sexual things or "You have a nice ass." Now I'm like, "Well of course, its amazing " lol. Secondly, and the real advice I would give, spend more time with him. He is obviously taking an interest with you atleast as a friend, so I'm sure he would love to hang out.

You dont have to ask him specifically. Just ask him what he is doing for his birthday. Or joke about 'having no life' lol. Since I am guessing you would be too nervous to ask him to hang out, get him to ask you. Personally, at this point. I dont know that I would advice you to admit your feelings just yet, because even if he felt something it is very possible that he could freeze up. I would just show some interest. Try to spend more time together outside of school so you are a lone.

 

the above advice is fantastic but i would just add one thing, you can test the waters and potentially get a feel for his orientation if you find a way to get on the subject of LGBT things and get some of his opinions.

 

Hello UniquelyLove,

This part of your post worries me. A lot. You have dropped 6 Body Mass Index levels over the course of a few months. That kind of quick, dramatic weight loss is neither healthy for your body nor sustainable. Please be sure that you're eating enough. Restricting your food intake too much will have nasty consequences for you both physically and psychologically.

Equally concerning are the self-esteem issues you've described. Why do you think you feel this way? How much would you say these feelings affect your day-to-day life? Do you talk about these issues with anyone?

I think it would be worth your while to look into these concerns more before you pursue any crushes. I'm afraid that you might feel more compelled to "perfect" yourself---with disastrous consequences---if you throw yourself headlong into these emotions. Enjoy being around the people you're attracted to, to be sure, but be careful how much of your energy and attention you invest in this when you don't know (a) whether they're gay/bi and (b) even if they are, whether their behavior is more than just innocent flirting.

 

Then you definitely want to get this looked into. From what you've told me, you are currently trapped in a full-blown eating disorder. These eating and thought patterns all have the textbook characteristics of anorexia. Restricting your food intake and exercising to that extent has done hundreds of thousands of calories' worth of damage to your body.

If you don't mind my asking, what do you consider a normal amount? Even if you're eating normally now, odds are that it's not enough to meet the truly massive energy deficit to be filled. That's why you feel hungry all the time and are feeling the urge to binge. When the body enters starvation, it tries to force you into feeding it by dramatically cranking up your appetite signals. Your body is begging you for food, and you should feed it! Lots! Let me say that again: if you feel the urge to binge, you should let it happen. It's not really a "binge" so much as reactive eating: your body is attempting to get the energy it needs.

The good news is that all this damage is reversible. Clinical guidelines for males under 25 recovering from eating disorders stipulate eating 3500 calories per day with absolutely no exercise. That number seems like a lot, but it includes calories for (1) your daily energy needs (2) repairing the damage done to your organs and (3) returning you to a healthy weight. Feel free to go beyond 3500 if you're hungry for it. It's best to slowly increase your intake by 250 calories for the first 2-4 days and then make the jump to the 3500. If you continue to restrict your food intake, you risk eventually developing heart disease, osteoporosis, and kidney failure because your body will inevitably be forced to eat itself to keep you from dying of starvation.

(*hug*) I know this can be a difficult thing to talk to people about. Eating disorders often try to convince us that we can be strong, stoic, and self-reliant. But you are in serious danger of falling further into the hole if you feel ready to lose another 15 lbs. You have a disease, and you'll need help throwing it off. I've been down this road too. Let me know if I can help you in any way.

 

I'm glad that you're eating more. But that range is likely still not enough to meet the energy needs of someone of your age, height, weight, and gender even if they have no history of eating disorders. 2200 is probably touching the lower range of what would be enough for you under normal circumstances, but amounts as low as 1700 definitely still qualify as restriction. But also remember: these are not normal circumstances. Your body is almost certainly still reeling from the months of self-administered starvation.

It's also a good sign that you're able to say you love food. But do you really think that's the only reason you're hungry all the time and have binge episodes? I'm not a doctor, but I don't think it's that much of a stretch to speculate that your increased appetite has a lot more to do with times when you were taking in less than 0 calories than it does the normal energy needs of a growing body (which, by all means, you should feed!).

Please do speak with your doctor about this. I would also highly, highly recommend that you consult a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. These kinds of thoughts you're having about your body and your desire to become even thinner are very, very dangerous when coupled with a past history of extreme restriction. You are putting yourself at serious risk if you attempt to lose more weight.

As for the "innocent flirting:" not all flirting (or what seems like flirting) is necessarily a signal that the person wants anything romantic/sexual to do with you. They could be joking. Or they could just be using "slut" and the like as terms of familiarity/friendly affection. Or they could be nursing a deep, insatiable love for you. I only wanted to suggest that you not read too much into this kind of behavior since it could be caused by many things.