Hi this is my very first post and don't know if my post blogs in this thread. Anyway there is this guy in my class who I seem to like. I remember in September when the semester started, I just got a vibe or a feeling that he was gay. When we did our class introductions, he had the same hobbies and interests as I had. For a few weeks, I sat next to him and partner with him in class group activities. He would sometimes greet me hello or we smile at eachother while we held eye contact on our way out of class. Unfortunatley, I was always too shy to start a conversation with him. Eventually, someone would always take the seat next to me and he would have sit somewhere else. In October, I sent him a friend request and he accepted. Before I decided to chat with him on Facebook, I finally got over my shyness and talked to him. One day after class, I just straight asked him if he played video games and he said "Yes but why?" I was so nervous i didn't say I was a gamer too; I just said "I dunno" :bang:. He was friendly enough to carry the conversation on by asking if I noticed his gamer shirt. I just agreed and we said our goodbyes while I felt so awkward. A week ago, I had a nice chat with him on facebook for a good hour and a half. First, I started by talking about our class and we move on to our interests. Eventually, we talked about celebrities coming out, lady gaga and his knowledge on a gay frat. The next day I got out of class early after finishing my test and was sitting alone. He came up to me (more resevered than friendly) and asked how I think I did on the test. I told him that I did pretty good but forgot to ask about how he did (I was shy and nervous). He said that he was gonna go to the bathroom. While I was waiting, an old classmate came up to me and starting talking to me but my the guy I like never came back. Did I scare off or offend the guy I like (friendship or romantic wise)?
Meh, most likely he's got the nervous jitters. Unless you've been constantly sending him a signal that you pretty much don't want to talk to him, consciously or unconsciously.
You do have a point... When he came up to me, I tried not to make too much eye contact because I get really nervous around him. Should I start a conversation with him on facebook to see where we stand? I'm thinking talking about our recent exam and going on from there.
People (especially relative strangers) don't necessarily know how to act around one another. There's a reasonable chance that he was following your lead in the conversation, especially the ones where you initiated. Since you started talking but were acting really nervous, he probably wasn't sure how forward to be and was also nervous. That said, it doesn't indicate much on whether or not he's gay, whether or not he's friendly, or whether or not he wants to keep in contact with you. In terms of a relationship, if you want to try and pursue something, it's going to be hard if you're not out to him. How is he going to know you're available if you aren't on the market? Regardless, coming out to him also gives him the perfect opportunity to come out to you (since you'll be accepting, of course) and might help identify whether or not he's into guys.
I think he's gay friendly because when we where chatting online he said his best friend was in a gay frat that he would hangout with them. I kinda want to get to know him more before I would come out to him; I've had bad experiences and distanced myself from people who I thought were close friends when they suspected I was gay. I don't know how I should feel around him. I sort of have a crush on him but at the same time I want to be his friend since we like similar things. (*hug*)
Update if anyone else is curious... I plan on coming out to this guy and hopefully have him as a friend to talk to.
Hello, I like to update my current situation. I came out to him a few weeks ago on fb chat and he's ok with knowing. He sat next to me in class and even greeted me by name when he handed me the class sign up sheet (he came in late so I guess he didn't want to say it loud). For some reason, it didnt feel like he sees me as just some classmate. He gave me 3 second eye contact if that matters. After class, he caught me miss throwing my gum in the trash and not pick it up. He jokingly said that I was a terrible person and that the campus security were gonna catch me which made me laugh. We talked a bit about finals while walking out together plus an instance of 5 second eye contact. We departed when he asked if I was going the opposite direction from him. But what was different this time was that he said "see ya". Before I came out to him, he would say "bye" while I said "see ya". I'm starting to like him being a friend but sometimes I get unsure of whether he's gay and start to crush on him. We only have 2 weeks of class left, if he doesn't end up liking I still want to be friends after the semester ends. How should I go about this without being another forgotten "friend" on facebook?
Well, you can always make an effort to spend time together if you're within close proximity of each other. That will reinforce the bond of friendship. Or you can make time to text, call or keep in touch - all these things prevent you from becoming just another fb friend.
Nothing you're saying indicates that he's into guys, unfortunately. And I hate to burst your bubble, but I think the fact that you're even approximating a time for how long you held eye contact is probably an indicator that you're reading into this too much. You might be developing a friendship, sure, but unless he says otherwise that's all it'll be. Crushing is fine so long as you know your limits.
Yeah, every time we sit near each other or walk out of class together I make an effort to talk to him and vice versa. The chatting or messaging him on fb I get unsure on whether I should do it. I had a friend who I use to consider a close friend and contact him while we talk about personal. One day I over heard him talking to a mutual friend of ours and he said that I was bothering him and was completely in love with him (i was only out to one friend). I always saw him as an older brother to me. From that day, I wonder whether he wanted to be close friends with me or was just toying with me. I was often suspected as being gay and he would make comments with gay over tones towards me. So for me having this guy who accept me be my friend is sort of special. ---------- Post added 1st Dec 2012 at 12:55 PM ---------- You're right. I'm starting to like being his friend since we can talk about our similar interest. I really don't have any close friends but mostly acquaintances since those that use to be close friends distanced themselves from me when started to suspect I was gay. He's a nice guy like; He asked if i had any gay friends when I told him about some guys at our community college distance themselves from me (I say "I don't check out girls" to respond to guys who I ask if I like any girls on campus). I want our friendship to grow but I don't want to feel like I'm annoying based on my past experiences with former male best friends
Well today in class, I had a presentation; while I was presenting, my friend walked in late so he didn't sit next to me. When class ended, I tried to stay a little after class (putting my books away) while he went to sign the attendance sheet. After he finished and walked pass me, I was looking down wondering if he would say hello or talk about my presentation (shyness) but he didn't. I didn't want say hello first and feel like I'm annoying or bothering him since I messaged him online and he didn't reply back. But a week ago, Our chat ended with him and replying back but the next time we saw eachother and he did greet me. There is only two days left in class (his presentation day and finals) and I want to be able to keep in contact with him. How do I get over the feeling/thinking that I'm bothering him?
