ok well ive been debating this on a minor scale. part of me really wants to tell my parents and though they are open particularly my mom, and i can see them being fine with it. the deal is that right now im dating an incredible girl and dont see us splitting up any time soon, if all goes well we never will. even though the two of us will most likely be experimenting together with other genders and such, but obviously even if i came out my parents would never know of my sexual ventures. so should i feel obligated to tell them even though its not an apparent thing and there might never be a reason to? my relationship with my parents is great and dont want to endanger my relationship with them.
I'm confused. You say that they are open, but then you express worry that it's unsafe to come out to them? Can you explain more? On obligation, I think you're only obligated to come out when you feel safe to do so, and when your coming out publicly (so not to family members) can make closeted people around you feel safer and like they have someone else they can talk to. That's the obligation of coming out. It's to make it a little safer for someone else to be out. But that obligation doesn't really exist in a family type relationship.
well i guess its not that is feels unsafe, i just dont want to cause any awkwardness. like if you express feelings to a friend that are unrequited, even tho no damage is done, its just not really the same after that, plus it is true that they are open, in truth im not as sure of my dad but he is a love person, but i dont know how they would react to their son not being straight, when its not something that is just their friends or on TV but in their home. the other thing is that i am basically out. i dont make a point to tell people but if they ask or if it is relevant i will tell them, save for most of my friends as i have been friends with them since middle school and am afraid of how they will react most of them being guys who arent the most sensitive or receptive so will prolly have the whole "must be attracted to any and all guys" mentality, besides that though i still love them and would like to but i dont see a massive benefit other than getting to completely be myself around them. if they end up being cool with that in the first place.
I think only you know whether or not you're ready to come out to your parents. However, under no circumstance are you obligated to do so. And remember that there's no rush. I don't think having or not having a girlfriend really has anything to do with it, though. If you come out, you're doing it for you, not for her. Whether you have a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or you're single, coming out is something personal and the reason you do it is because you want to be able to be and feel yourself. It's not a reason you should underestimate; you making this thread shows not being out and not being able to be yourself isn't exactly the best thing in the world, to say the least. Fortunately, it does sound like your parents would be supportive, so at least coming out to your parents may be something you could seriously consider. You haven't said an awful lot about your friends, but it sounds like you're just scared of how they might react. A lot of the times that I've heard of, they deserve a lot more credit. But again, ultimately it's really up to you to decide if you're ready to come out.
well it wouldnt be for my gf but the fact that im dating a girl was significant to the fact that it might never be a thing that has to be addressed to live openly to them. but thanks this does help quite a bit. specially the bit about my friends.
