I'm now a junior in high school. But I feel like I shouldn't be. When I'm in the locker room, changing for cross country, I can feel a difference; all the other boys have hit puberty. I'll start with a disclaimer--in order to avoid explicit conversation, I'll henceforth refer to a certain object as a vector and its magnitude. Here are my symptoms: 5'6" (I should be taller now, my uncle's 6'7" and my dad's 6'.) No armpit hair. No hair…down there. High, feminine voice. My vector's magnitude stubbornly remains at 2 inches. No "real" sexual feelings. The list goes on, but I'll stop short now. The point is that I'm painfully behind. Some of you might say, "Well, so what? Just enjoy life. It's not a race." I'll proceed to give several reasons why that is Grade-A bull dung. 1. Cross country. I've noticed as my friends have gotten older, they hit a tipping point. That tipping point coincides with puberty. What is that tipping point? It's where they become faster than I am, after my 12 years of competitive running, without any training. I was one of the faster ones at 11, at 13, I was faster than the main group but the taller kids were all in front of me, and now I beat a few freshmen. It's so painful to see everyone else outpace me with nary a glance. That's the first reason why something needs to change. 2. The psychological detriments. I just don't feel "ready." I feel like a boy among men. One more month like this and I'll break down; I just can't keep going on being a lesser specimen. 3. Strength. It used to be I was of average strength, but as my pubescence has failed to materialize, my peers have gained significant strength advantages over me. 4. The locker room. While we don't strip naked or anything, kids have seen my bulge, or lack thereof, and proceeded to have a hearty laugh at my expense. 5. College. It is well-known that people trust taller men with deeper voices much more. I want to have all the advantages I can when interviewing for college. And if I haven't hit puberty by college, I'll go ballistic. 6. Maybe the most important. I can't even be sure if I'm gay or not. I'm romantically attracted to guys, but what if I finally hit puberty and I'm attracted to girls? That will be awkward… 7. Sexual stuff. I can't imagine having sex at this point. I mean ever. It just has retained its apparent grossness to me. And I'm scared. I've never watched porn, I've never masturbated. While it may seem odd to want these things, I do with all my heart. I want to be able to watch porn and not vomit (like I said, I've never tried, I'm not sure what would happen). I want to be able to have sex when I'm older. So, the point of all this long-winded venting is that I need a solution. Fast. I already know I'll put my kids on hormones if they haven't started to hit puberty by 13--I want them to avoid this drawn-out torture in which every day solidifies my lack of development. If you have non-prescription pills I could get at the local pharmacy without my parents' knowledge, that would be great--my doctor doesn't think I need them and my parents are following his advice. But even if it has detrimental health effects, I don't care. I'm tired of being an inferior person, tired of being slowest, tired of being the lame one who just studies and then goes home depressed. Please help.
I was going to recomend having a PRIVATE chat with your docter, until you mentioned him there at the end. Have you explained all of this to your docter? I mean ALL of this? You may be suffering from a lack of testosterone. However, I'm honestly not sure if that is the problem, nor I'm I sure if that would actually solve anything. I have read that taking testosterone during puberty can deepen your voice, cause puebic hair growth, increase your strength, and enlarge your 'vector' I would still advise a private visit with your doctor, read up on the link I will leave you below, and inform him/her you fear that you may have hypogonadism. This would be alittle bit easier if I actually knew your age, but if you are above 13 you should seriously already be in at least the begeaning phases of pueberty. I wish you the best of luck, and here is the link: You & Your Hormones | Hormones | Testosterone
Updated my profile to show age. Yes, I did explain all of it to my doctor. But he doesn't understand the social issues. I agree that in a perfect world, it wouldn't matter, but it does. Thanks for the link!
No problem, and what I have learned from that link is that it can actually cause problems later on down the road. I'm sorry but you should be in pueberty by now. It seems like your docter is putting your health at risk.. you may want to look for a new one. Okay, well I'm done! If you need any more help/have any more questions feel free to message me. Good luck on this whole situation.
I don't know if this is much help, but a good friend, who is now close to 30, went through puberty very late in life. He gained about 2 inches in height between 25 and 27. He is one of the sharpest, most intelligent, most capable people I know, and even though he has a small stature (he's about 5'7), he is a powerhouse of knowledge and capabilities and most everyone who meets him at first finds him really intimidating in spite of his small stature and youthful appearance (at 29, he looks about 18.) I do understand why this is so upsetting to you, but you'll be out of high school before long, and honestly, after that, most people won't care, won't hassle you, won't really even notice, other than, perhaps, thinking you're younger than you are... which, as you get a little older, you'll appreciate Now that's not at all what you want to hear, so I will make another suggestion: You might be able to arrange to see a psychiatrist and discuss the issues you've described. S/he will understand the impact of that much better than a GP would, and will be much more likely to get to the bottom of what's going on. Another option would be to see if you can get a referral to see an endocrinologist to have a more comprehensive review of what's going on. If you really have developed none of the typical signs of puberty by 17, and there isn't a familial history of extremely late onset of puberty, then your GP may be missing the boat, as in most cases, it would be appropriate to at least do some tests, or get a consult, to figure out what's going on. There can be various reasons why puberty is delayed, some of which are normal and some of which are not, but 17 is pretty late. Also, simply taking hormones or something that causes onset of puberty is not advisable in any case, simply because, as I said, sometimes there are other reasons why it isn't happening, and those issues may need treatment, after which puberty will happen normally. I think it's very reasonable (again, assuming there isn't a familial history of late onset puberty) to ask your parents if you can arrange for a second opinion, or to see an endocrinologist. There are a number of simple tests that can be conducted to see what's happening, and from there, an informed decision can be made as to what the best course of treatment would be for you.
