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How do I find myself?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by you, Oct 31, 2012.

  1. you

    you
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    I spent my first seven years of school in the country and picked up their ways.
    Then I moved closer to the city and I realized that that's not me. I don't know what I'm supposed to be because I've never been anything but this.

    There's so many different types of people here. I know I'm supposed to be myself, but I don't know who I am. I'm not who I grew up acting like.

    How can I discover other lifestyles? I'm still in high school.

    Sorry for being so pathetic.
     
  2. Neutrality

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    I had a similar problem, but mine was because I was so deep in the closet that I never figured out who the real me is, I just had to try stuff...I listened to all kinds of music to see what I like, experimented with different clothes, food, and I just started saying the first things that popped into my head instead of thinking about what I'm gonna say =P
     
  3. you

    you
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    Thanks. I figured that'd be the only way. Right now though, I could be anything from femme to metalhead.
     
  4. Cassandra

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    Sorry:grin:

    I have to say this: I really wish you luck on your journey.

    What I mean is, since people developed its inteligence (I think ancient Greece), each and every person has tried to answer that question.

    "WHO AM I?" Is not an easy question (did you see "Anger Management" with Adam Sandler? You'll get the idea of how difficult to answer that question is), "HOW DO I FIND MY TRUE SELF?" "HOW I GET TO KNOW ME?" are just variants of the same qwuestion, but equally annoying.

    The thing is, some people find the answer right away, others don't care to find it, and some others die without knowing.

    If one thing people found for sure, is that there is no a single defined path to know oneself. Every person is different, and that means a lot more that you may think at first.

    The only thing I can say to help you is: the best way to know the diversity of people is traveling, try to travel to different places, taste different food, use different clothes, and always watch which places you like, what food you enjoy, wich clothes you feel more comfortable into. There's a LOT more of things that compose who you are and that build the whole of yourself. It will be a slow process, just be patient (well it may be more quicker than that, but who knows for sure?).
     
  5. stonewalk

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    no matter what there will be no immediate moment where you discover yourself. it just doesnt happen like that. there is too much out there to just snap your fingers and find the real you. its a process. you discover over time. the best advice i can give you is be as open as possible and be spontaneous. its hard to discover new things when A) you dont want to leave your comfort zone and B) tend to over thing things
     
  6. you

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    Thanks, all of you. I think this is going to be a hard one. My city is really industrial, and there's not as much culture as there used to be. Maybe I'll visit Cleveland, New York or Boston some time. Or Pittsburgh.
     
  7. ezkill

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    Try new things! This is really the only way to know what you like or dislike. In the process, you will get to know yourself. For example, it wasn't until I was 20 or 21 when I started realizing that I liked exploring different cities and trying exotic foods. I never knew that about myself... I just grew a taste for it.

    Also, most important is that you are first comfortable being in your own skin. Only then can you be honest and look inward, and question things with confidence. My lack of self esteem in high school kept me from trying new things.
     
  8. Maxi

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    Ey,,,

    I feel the same you know....

    I dont know who I am or what I am surpose to be.
    I am engaged to a great man and I love him very much...but I also think he diserfs better you know...
    I thoght I was streght but iam wondering..

    So your not pathetic yust human:icon_bigg