Being yourself? I've been told numerous times by my friend.. ( only friend really... who's online) and knows I'm bi. We haven't really had a good friendship this year for who knows what reason but he tells me that I should stop "so n so" and be yourself. The problem is that how do I or someone be themselves? I feel that I have never found myself to enjoy something in my life yet or someone to be with in my life. I did ask him how do I be myself.... I only got weird reactions of frustration giving a thought I must be stupid.... and stupid I am because I am sure asking such a question is stupid... -If anyone here.. can you tell me how I/someone be themselves when they've never really found a happy spot in their life yet.
I hate it when people say "just be yourself." I think usually what they're saying is "stop worrying," but that's easier said than done. I'm sorry you've never found a happy spot in your life. I'd suggest starting small. Some things that make me happy: really good food (try cooking something you've never made before--I just read about peanut butter and pickle sandwiches in the New York Times, apparently that's what cool people are eating now, and I can't wait to try it) walking in the woods or a park walking anywhere, exploring new neighborhoods books movies web development music running (outdoors or on a treadmill) Just pick a book or a song, try listening/reading, and keep trying new ones till you've found one you really like, then read or listen to more of that author/musician. Once you've read or listened to a few things from the same source, you're officially a fan and an authority on the subject, and you have something to talk about passionately, which attracts other people. You could even meet other people who like the same thing. I'm not trying to make light of your problem. Really, honestly, it's as simple as that. Just keep flipping through songs/books/whatever until you find one you like, and keep going with it.
I think it all just comes down to acceptance. I'm in a similar position to this, where I simply think I'm doing something wrong, like I need a guide of some sort, or like I missed an important piece of info in school on how to live this way. How we live is up to us, and that is how we know who we are and where our mind is. If they've noticed a change, maybe you've done just that; maybe you have developed a bit. It's no problem by any means, if anything it's positive! What you do with your life is up to you. Do what you like and run with it! As for me, I think I'll head out tomorrow and buy something with a rainbow, because I feel like doing it!
I have a problem with this too, the "be yourself" thing. For some reason I think that if I really love something it doesnt mean Im being myself. I have to be good at it and impress people otherwise it means Im not being "authentic". I think this is to do with how I was raised, with an "achievement at all costs" mentality.
i think it means take things at your own pace. or be....unique. or a better quote i came up with: 'Learn from everyone, follow no one, be your own person'. I
Some quotes I'm trying to live by - There will always be someone in your life you are better off without We are often scared of things that seem painful right now, but in the long term would be much better for us. This applies to several things in my life. Things will not always be as they are right now. I won't always be a broke ass college student fighting to get by and living at home (sigh). Situations change. Step outside. Breathe in the fresh air. Go for a walk. Smile at a stranger. Wave at a stranger. Look at yourself in the mirror. Realize that you are a beautiful individual. A living breathing human soul, and in that fact, there is boundless opportunity. Some people just need to take a hike. And you need to stop caring. Being yourself is in a big way not giving a damn what others think. I struggle with this in a huge way.
I love this post.. I think very few of us really know who we are yet (I envy and admire those who do) and figuring it out can leave us very confused. Self doubt is a big issue for me, I've always been very passive and generally taken up activities based on what my friends have been doing. Then I moved away and felt somewhat lost. It is hard to know how much of your personality has been molded by society and those around you. What I've been doing lately is just spending one day each month by myself, doing something new and deciding what I think about it. I've kept a journal of these thoughts and hopefully a common thread will appear. In the meantime just getting out and meeting new people has been really useful because new people have no expectations of you and therefore whatever you find yourself talking about, you're likely to be more honest than around those with preformed opinions of you. And making decisions on who you would genuinally like to keep in touch with when there are no external reasons for you to stay in touch can be very enlightening. Anywho.. those are my thoughts on the topic, I was glad to see I wasn't the only one who had been baffled by the phrase 'just be yourself' so I thought I'd share my progress. And also that I'm actually having a lot of fun finding out! I hope you guys are too
"being yourself" is only really straight forward when you know who you are, which makes the whole act of giving this advice to a confused person pointless. Something that works for me is that whenever you're second guessing yourself and worrying about what other people will think if you did this or that, tell yourself to shut up and starting thinking about what You would prefer to do. And if you decide to do what ever it is and you get worried about what people think of you, tell yourself to shut up again and think of something else. For example: say you found some clothes you really like, but they're in a store that your friends don't like. So when you start to think, "but so n so won't like me because of whatever (store, colour, style etc)" tell yourself to shut up and think about how much you like it and based on that and that ALONE, decide whether or not to buy it. Say you do but soon after worry again about your friends opinion, tell yourself to shut up and think about something else. It's hard at first but it gets easier. Just take chances and don't regret them; You never know what great things will happen.
