Were to begin.. I just found myself on this sight and read som of the blogs and First I have to say wow....I am not alone I live in South Africa.... I am engaged to a lovey man, he is 27 and Iam 18 female...My perants love and adore him and so do I but, I dont know if it is love becouse I have to be what people and my perants think or if I realy do love him.. In my town there is no lesbians..Small place. I dont want to hurt the people I care for, but it feeling like I am begining to hurt myself... I dont know what to do or to say... 3 year ago I met a girl that tore open my heart and gave it to the dogs....I dont juge every one onder that surcustance.... I just feel I have so much to loos and so much people I will hurt if I tel them I think I am a Lesbian.
Wow, you're in a tough spot. Is there any way you could spend some time outside your town and away from your parents and boyfriend? Even just a month away could give you some perspective. Some excuses to get you away for a bit: relative who needs visiting, study program, job.
No that the problem...I am going Mad... I cant go away and even if I do what do I say... Like my mom said I am in a commited relationship I cant just go away and study.... I have no out come in this .... I ts all my foult anyway...I boxed myself up about the thing that happend to me when I was younger
Bear in mind, that before I say anything..realize that I'm not in your position & so any words /advice that I put across may not necessarily be a realistic/viable route to alleviating your situation. You're only 18 (1 year younger than me!); if the lifestyle that you're living isn't for you, then you need to change it. You've got to live the life you want to live while you're young & able to do so. Are you a student? The reason I ask is because there are avenues to study abroad/do exchange & thus meet new people. I'm hoping to exchange to Canada/America next year (where I can leave the life I currently have here in Australia (not that it's bad) & be the real Luke in a place where no-body knows me). I'm hoping that this experience will give me the courage to come out & be truthful to the rest of my family, because I'm sick of living this lie. There are always routes, you just need to look for them. You can't continue living this life if you're not enjoying it & you know that it isn't right (for you). On another note, you shouldn't use that 1 experience to base everything else off of; I had an experience with a guy a few years ago & it did the same thing to me that it did to you (I boxed myself up, pretended I wasn't gay & just repressed it as much as possible). After a few years, I've come to accept that there is no changing it & I just need to grow up & stop living a lie. My advice. Luke.
yes i am a Student doing grade 12 next year.... I have a bad histery with my uncle( He did stuff to me when i whas 6-10) I is nice to talk with people I can relate to and the advice is greate.....but whats the expresion....(sleep in the bed you have mad) I dont know if i can make that bed again. I dont think my perents will be happy but I gess its my live to life not theres Thank you so much You made me smile again Masone
well that did not go the way I wanted it.. I traid to speek with him but befor I could say anything he gott al soppy and loving....I realy do not know what to say......... So iam still in a pickel..........not the most fun I have ever had......... :dry:
Hi Maxi, welcome to EC. The most important thing is for you to be happy in your life. It's not about trying to make those around you happy. Your in a tough situation, but it will be easier to stop at this point than it will be after many years of marriage. I don't doubt that you love this guy, I love my wife but was never able to truly love her like she deserved. You may be much in the same boat. I spent most of my life married and not completely happy and it wasn't fair to my wife or me. You won't be either! Your going to be graduating from HS soon....can you away go to college? That is always a good place to meet other people. Do what is right for you!
Ey to all I spoke with him today...what a relieve....He was and is very suportive about the sitiation. Which iam glad... He said i must go to collage and get experiance and even if i am just bio or even a lesbian he will still love and care and be there for me... He said it will hurt him more if I am not happyer then being with him...He also said i must be the girl he fell inlove with.. So he is giving me the oppertunity to find myself and if he is the one he will always be there for me even if he is not the one. So iam starting today to be honest with myself and most of the people around me....But not just jet my parents.... Ill see were the wind blowes me hand hope I land were I am surpose to be The person I am (still figuring it out but I know I will get there) Maxi
That is sooooooo cool congratulations! Now I know why you fell for him. What a great guy. Is he available...haha!
Thank you Jim for the kind word and the geving me the corage to speek... I might just hold on to him....maby I am thinking to much and maby I am streght.....we will see and I will keep you updated... So are you happy now?? and how did your wife take it....Sorry for asking,,,I am still new
Ask anything you want here. Well, the answer to your question, am I happy now. No, I'm still with my wife and trying to figure out what I want to do. Bottom line is I want to be with a guy. Problem is that like your wonderful guy she is such a nice caring person. I do love her and care about her. That's why we are still together She took it as I suspected she would, very good. She had her suspicions about me which made it a little easier. It's been difficult but things are going OK. I think the next year will decide where we will go with our future.
I like her....Very understanding....You sould stay friends.... I take my hat off for you...you really are honest with her and yourself I gess that makes us who we are and ment to be... I realy hope things will work out for you and maby one day you can show some hunk off at your side.... Maxi :lol:
Hi Maxi - Nice to see a fellow South African I think it's great that you were able to speak to your fiance and that he's so supportive and understanding of your situation. I don't know if you go out much but try to go to a gay bar or gay club and get in touch with lesbians and even gays. This will help you a great deal in finding your true identity. But in the meantime, everybody on EC is here for you to help you through this confusing time of your life. I wish you all the best in your journey of self-discovery (*hug*)
ey velvet I must say I feel the love at EC.... In my town there is no guy bars but I know of a few in Cape Town ....Maby I will go on holliday and explore... There is no harm in that.. Thanx for the advice All advice is good advice....
