This is hard for me. I hate to admit im Lesbian, not that i have anything wrong with people who are my good friend is but i am just scared. It all started when i was 15, i fell in love with my best friend but i knew i could never act upon it because i would lose her friendship so i just ignored it and started to date guys left and write people call me tease beacuse i wouldnt acutally do anything with a guy. Then i turn 16 and started to date my first girlfriend she ended up braking up with me because i wouldnt come out and i was scared for any one to find out about us so i even told her to hid it i felt so bad. shortly after that my mom past away i stop talking to every one and just felt alone and started to date this guy and 3 months later broke up with him but while dating him i did things it felt good but then became annoyed with him i hate being around him and him touching me. then dated other guy same deal didnt like it. but i told my self i was straight threw all of this i even stop thinking about girls for a while then bam i got drunk and kissed a girl ... two days later forgot about it and moved on every guy i got close to i ended up putting them in friend zone or stop talking to them... months later a friend of mine who i havent spoke to in a year told me she came out of the closet and i was so happy i had no idea but it felt good to know. and ever since then its all i can think about. i am about to be 20 and i still have no clue wft is going on. i feel like i am so close to admitting it but then i get this huge nervous feeling and then i push all those thougths away and just stay single and happy but its like a ghost that is haunting me .... idk what to do about it... the easy thing would just be to come out but then i think i dont want to im straight ... and if i come out i can never go back in ever thing would change everything would be different.. maybe im just scared of change
look at your Orientation Status: Lesbian... why You write this if You can choose Bi or other? if you come out you always can change your opinion and date guys if you want!)))) love doesn't depent on sex it's depend on person... don't push yourself so hard, enjoy your life
thats a good perspective on things .... i just feel like if i got close to some one they would want me to define myself and i cant right now.. if i cant admit it to my self how am i suppose to admit it to any one... no one knows that i have these thoughts they all just think of me as inexperienced they dont know i dont do things with guys because i feel uncomfortable about it ... i just feel like im not being honest with any one including myself
I tell You my story: my ex-girlfriend was afraid to commit to anybody that we were together, she had her reasons (job, family and other), but I thought that she was ashamed of me... we had a lot of fights but one day I understood that she always was honest with me when telling about her fears and I was selfish! If person love You she/he wiil understand and accept You with all your faers and issues)))))
thank you for the advise it really helps i just hope when i meet that GIRL she will be understanding because my first girlfriend tried pushing me out posting stuff at the time on my myspace and wanting to holding my hand at school and i just felt so awful that ever since in the back of my mind i feel like i dont ever want to put any one threw that again i know it hurt her cuz she was so proud of who she was and i felt awful
