Okay, so this is how it has gone. In mid-May this year, I came out to my parents as pan (I told them I liked people regardless of their gender). However, I actually went too fast and I wasn't 100% sure about my orientation. During the summer I met a gay guy and I got a huge crush on him (my first serious crush), and that crush made me realize my love towards men is completely different than that towards girls (if it can even be considered love). I'm gay, I want to come out to my parents but I can't. I've told many friends, but coming out to my parents seems impossible. Not because of being scared of rejection (because they were completely fine with me being pan), but because I feel it's a bit stupid. I feel like they are going to react as if coming out again was ridiculous. Since past Sunday, I've tried to tell them, but I can't start the conversation. I don't know what to say to start it, because I don't want to go directly, but I don't want to be long either. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.
just be honest with them. you need to tell them. its ok if you are embarrassed. sexuality is a complicated topic. just tell them that you have given it more thought and that you have realized you are actually gay. be honest. told them what you told us.
I agree with the above, for a while I thought I was bi, but after a while, I realized how I didn't really like guys all that much, it is confusing and what you told us would be great to tell your parents. While you may feel embarrassed about it now, I am sure you will feel so much better after you do.
I don't think it should be an issue. Saying you are pan isn't really coming out, it's merely admitting you like guys as well. But saying you are gay is coming out, it's admitting you have no heterosexual tendencies, and is a much more important announcement I cant see why they would have any problem with it, and to be honest, they probs think you are gay anyways, because let's face it, almost all gay people come out as bisexual/pan first(unfortunate for true bisexuals and pansexuals whos orientation is used as a scapegoat by the majority of homosexuals). SO yea, just tell them.
With your advice in mind, I didn't think it twice again, sat next to my parents and told them I'm gay. As you were expecting, everything went perfect, with them being even more supportive than the other time. It was hard to say it, because accepting that I'm gay means, as WooEEE says, that everything outside homosexual tendencies is unexistent, and that scared me because I thought they could have been supportive because I still liked women. But no, actually I've had zero problems. I finally feel free and happier than ever! Thanks!
