So this isn't really gay-related, sorry if this in the wrong spot. I'm homeschooled, so I just got my new books today and I've started doing them, they're a lot harder to do and so I was telling my Mom that I've been working on them for almost three hours. This started a big thing with my Mom telling me that I don't have a right to complain since it would be much harder if I was actually in high school. I have this big fear of failing and while my Mom was telling me this, I was starting to feel as if I had failed. Also, all of my friends have gone off to college, so I'm stuck in the house a lot and I have to do a lot of stuff around the house, but no one actually tells me that they are thankful for what I do. And to top it all off, I found out that my ex had been cheating on me. So I've been feeling very depressed because of all of this :***: and I've started thinking suicidal thoughts, so I just need some help.
Suicide is never the answer. Perhaps, you could get a tutor; I was homeschooled and things worked out well for me. I couldn't stand public school because of anxiety. I think you just need to relax and breathe because your life isn't over. You're just going through a difficult time right now and you need to discover a way to cope with everything. You're still young and you have your whole life ahead of you. What you're feeling is just temporary. Try going out, do something fun; the movies or bowling sounds like a good idea. Try to think positive and healthy thoughts will follow.
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I've been there too, and I hate the thought of someone else feeling so low that they'd think about taking their own life. Nothing is that bad. Whatever is bothering you right now will pass. Your new set of books are likely supposed to be harder than the last ones - aren't they? That's how school is - it is constantly building on what you've already learned and adding new things to it. But if you're 'home schooled' doesn't it mean that your parents are responsible for helping you? It doesn't sound like your mom was very helpful or encouraging. Are there other resources available to you? Some kind of group or association for home schooled kids? I don't really know much about that process. Why are you being home schooled to begin with? At 16, you wouldn't yet be going off to college. Your friends, if they have already, must be older, aren't they? You aren't behind - you're just younger. Finally - I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend. That really sucks. But it's a life lesson that you were going to learn sooner or later. You've learned it, and presumably that will make you better able to pick the next boyfriend. Whatever you do, don't lose hope. And if things get really dark for you - please reach out for help. Tell your parents that you're not coping. Call a help / crisis line. Tell your family doctor or another close relative. But talk to someone about how you're feeling and get the help that you deserve to get through this.
