Hello Everyone, I have been questioning my sexuality since I was a young kid. I am from a small town where being homosexual was frowned upon and generally unheard of, because of that I always tried to ignore the feelings and just thought it was a phase. When I hit High School I was started to date a girl, thinking that I would adjust to being straight. I always suppressed my feelings and I grew emotionally attached to the girl I was dating. Throughout High School I ignored the attraction I had for guys, and continued dating the same girl. Once I moved to a larger city for my university education I began to question myself even more. I am at the point where I am almost certain that I am gay. My issue is that I am still in the long term relationship (going on 5 years), our relationship is not a very traditional one. We are essentially best friends, there was little to no sexual contact between us (for obvious reasons). I currently share a one bedroom apartment with the girl and I am at the point where I am tired of hiding who I am. I feel as if I can't come out because I am not sure how everyone will react. I can't afford to live on my own, and I truly worry about how coming out at this time would effect the rest of my life. I feel awful about keeping the relationship going if I know that it is not right, but I don't want to lose her as part of my life. I don't feel right hiding it anymore, but I also don't want to risk her kicking me out. I apologize if this post is nonsensical, I am finding it really difficult to put my story into words. To summarize: Likely gay, In a long-term relationship with a girl, worry about becoming homeless. Any advice is greatly appreciated. - Thatoneguy
im not sure if she is the first person you should tell if you want to come out.i might be wrong if you are real good friends then she may be able to accept you and can still be close and not be kicked out .but if there is anyone else who you think will support you might consider telling them first and your situation.don't feel like you have to rush out of the closet take your time plan a path.i can tell you care about her but it is unfair to stay in a relationship.don't feel you have to rush out just consider both her and your interests.but saying that really understandable why you went out with her aye.any way good luck man hope things go good.
Hi there, and welcome to EC. That awful feeling that you have isn't going to get any better, it's likely going to get worse, and it certainly isnt' going to go away. I would say that the sooner you tell her, the better. It's interesting that you've been together for over 4 years and you're living together now yet you have little to no sex. In fact, you referred to it in the past tense - there was very little sex. Based on that, how surprised do you think your girlfriend is going to be when you tell her that you're questioning your orientation, and you think you might be gay? Maybe not very. It's only fair that you tell her, so that she can start to build a life for herself and find someone who can truly love her. And the same could be said for you. You deserve happiness and to find someone to love just as much as she does. My gut says that you'll be able to remain friends and work this out. But you'll know better than me. Good luck! And again - welcome!
