So I have a girlfriend (mtf), and we've been dating for 2 months. But I still like this guy (ftm), my bestfriend, who I pretty much liked since the day i met him. He liked me back and had told me and he knew i liked him too. We kissed once, for this fake wedding thing a few months ago, but i mean he never made a move otherwise, and i just figured he stopped liking me back and i tried to forget about my feelings. But two days ago we were texting and he told me he still really liked me and hasn't been able to stop thinking about me. And I told him i still felt the same way and we've been texting a lot about our feelings the past two days and stuff. And my feelings for this guy are... really strong. Like I'd never physically cheat or anything though. And my girlfriend is suicidal and she said I was the reason she was still here. So I don't know what do to. I mean I have a lot of fun spending time with my girlfriend. But we fight almost everyday about stupid shit, and I really can't stand it. And it's not the same types of feelings that I have for this guy. And I just don't know what to do.
If I were your father I'd tell you to stop seeing either of them, consider neither to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, and to focus on your school work instead. Are both of these people also 14? They're both transgender? It just seems to me that these situations are far too complex for you to be bothered with at your age. You have SO much time to date people later in life that you don't need to be distracted with these kinds of complex relationship issues at 14.
I normally get annoyed when people say that such and such an age is too young to be in a relationship. I mean if the relationship works and you're mature about it, then it's fine. But I think Jim1454 has a point. Fourteen is really young to be dealing with a girlfriend who is suicidal, while concurrently you have a best friend who is telling you that he can't stop thinking about you. I mean, seriously. I think you need to ease off on the whole relationship thing, and explain to them both why... it doesn't mean that you can't still be friends and be their for your girlfriend when she is feeling down.
Thanks. I mean, I do really good in school, I honestly don't have to focus much on it. Anyways, I really like my bestfriend, which is my problem. But since they're good friends, I couldn't date my bestfriend, it'd break my now girlfriend's heart. And I want to break up with her, but still be there for her and everything, because honestly I don't like her this way anymore. But she's had suicide attempts before, and I'm afraid that she would again. But I guess you guys are right... I mean my bestfriend isn't that complicated, but my girlfriend is extremely complicated and confusing and everything and it's a lot to deal with. I'm just afraid since she's suicidal.
This is all you need to focus on. You should be sure that her parents know and that her teacher knows. Being suicidal is serious, and you shouldn't be solely responsible for helping her. It's not your responsibility at all. Engage her parents and other adults who can get her the help that she needs.
