My parents are in deep denial and my brother is keeping me from being "my gay self":icon_wink at college. It seems as if my only option is to start to seperate myself from my family, but I haven't figured out how? My parents: I have told my mom that I am gay and she won't acknowledge it, saying that I will go to hell. My father is one of those religious types that doesn't listen to reason and blames himself. Even though I haven't told my father he had this over emphasized sorry speech about how he wasn't a good father. I confronted my mother about this and she said that she didn't tell him, also stating that she wouldn't mention something that she doesn't believe in, calling me a liar in the process. My brother: I have had a close relationship with him until he met his best friend and ditched me a few years ago. He recently started wanting to spend time with me and exhibits homophobic behavior, preventing me from coming out to him. He says things like "You better not be gay" or "don't let your friends turn you out" which causes some confliction in how I feel about him. I get the feeling that he knows that I am gay, but I am not willing to risk the only way out of my parents house if I do choose to confront them officially. My problem with where I am now in life is that I have to go back home for fall break. Taking a stand for myself isn't really the best option available and I feel trapped.:help: What I wanted to ask EC, is what are your opinions and possible solutions to my problem?
How does your brother keep you from being yourself in college? Do you go to college together? With respect to your parents, you've been honest and come out to your mom. That's awesome - even if the result wasn't. If you think your dad knows, then maybe you should tell him yourself so that it's out in the open. Have you provided them with any PFLAG information or literature? That might be helpful. What other sources of support are there for you? Are there any sympathetic aunts or uncles who you could talk to? Who you know would be accepting and supportive? Are there counselling services at university that you could take advantage of? Talking to someone would be very helpful. As for going home for fall break - maybe you don't even want to bring it up. (Unless you want to talk to your dad about it.) Maybe you should take a break and not talk about it. I know that might be hard, but it might be the best option if you're not really feeling up to standing up for yourself on this issue. But - if your mother has the nerve to ask you if you're dating any nice girls, then you'd need to politely remind her that you're not interested in dating girls, but no, you aren't dating any boys (unless of course you are - and then I'd tell her - because she asked.) It will get better the more comfortable you get with it.
If it is not what they want to hear, then I will most likely get backlash in the form of bible quotes. The rest of my family is exactly the same, except one older cousin who is openly gay. However..., he is making the situation worse by acting slutty (no need to sugar-coat) and in turn making 'gay people' look bad in the eyes of our whole family. I guess I'll have to keep it to myself until fully independent, but if I keep getting asked about "sluts" or "college girls" then ears will bleed.
