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passive aggressive boss blaming me for things I didnt do

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by tapsilog2012, Nov 2, 2012.

  1. tapsilog2012

    tapsilog2012 Guest

    Got a really long email from my boss blaming me for things I didnt do (stuff that happened during another person's shift) and threatening to fire me.

    I try so hard at work and call my bosses whenever there is a problem but they usually dont even pick up and then blame me when I make a bad decision, even though they dont pick up their phone or answer their messages.

    I need work so badly, I was unemployed for 2 years before this.

    This seems to be a pattern in my life too. Usually if anything goes wrong on the job I get blamed even if its someone else's fault (as in I WASNT EVEN AROUND WHEN IT HAPPENED). Is it some kind of attitude Im "projecting" that makes people treat me this way? Or are there just a lot of assholes out there?
     
  2. Jim1454

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    I don't know if you're projecting something or not.

    If the things that he says happened clearly didn't happen during your watch, then you simply need to reply to the email and say that there must be some kind of misunderstanding, because you weren't at work when those things happened. If you have any details or proof I'd provide it - but don't make it a super long response - it makes you look defensive - like you actually WERE respnosible for the problems.

    You might even want to point out the things that you normally do to ensure that this kind of problem DOESN'T occur during your shift.
     
  3. tapsilog2012

    tapsilog2012 Guest

    Is it normal to be thinking about suicide because of this? Im tired of barely being able to survive and if I get fired I dont know what Im gonna do. This job supports 2 people, one of whom is my ex boyfriend.

    I was crying all morning and I can barely do anything because of the stress.

    If it makes it worse, I thought my boss was my friend (he told me I was "family") and so I told him a lot of personal things. Now I know I shouldnt have said anything that gave me away.
     
    #3 tapsilog2012, Nov 2, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 2, 2012
  4. Rinamir Mortem

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    I would say it is normal to feel suicidal when you feel the world is against you. I feel it is only natural when you think you have no control over life that you can still take the highest form of control and end it all.

    However, I also feel it is a defense mechanism employed to try and assert that little bit of control and a tiny bit of order out of chaos. I would say, if you are really unhappy with your work you start looking around for new areas of employment as well as trying to mend bridges and explain to your boss what is wrong and how you are not the cause of the issues you are being blamed for. That way, you can take control and work through the problems rather than let them pile up. If problems persist perhaps taking the initiative and going to these people who are causing the problems you are being blamed for and explaining what their negligence is doing might help.

    I hope you start feeling better! (*hug*)
     
  5. Zontar

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    Why are you supporting your ex-boyfriend?
     
  6. tapsilog2012

    tapsilog2012 Guest

    He is in school full time and lives with me. He's lived with me for 4 and a half years total, 2 years I lived with his parents when my mom kicked me out, and then 2 years in our own apartment.

    He couldnt get enough of a student loan to get him through the semester because the government is penalizing him for dropping 2 of his courses last semester. He freaked out and dropped the courses when I came out to him.

    However I lived off of his student loan when I was unemployed so its only fair to pull my weight until it evens out. For some reason the government wouldnt give me any assistance when I was unemployed so we lived off a student loan meant for one person for a long time :frowning2:
     
  7. tapsilog2012

    tapsilog2012 Guest

    I cant sleep because Im so scared of losing my job. I think once it gets this far its pretty much inevitable because I will make a tiny mistake somewhere and that will be enough to tip the balance for them.

    Ya Im on craigslist at 630AM looking at the jobs section. I guess you could say Im terrified.
     
    #7 tapsilog2012, Nov 3, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 3, 2012
  8. tapsilog2012

    tapsilog2012 Guest

    I called my boss this morning to try to discuss it. He claims I havent been doing laundry and I have. I think maybe he wants me to do more loads per shift and I told him I would. But he claims Im not doing ANY and that NOT TRUE.

    I asked for more feedback and he was very vague and said he had to go. He said he would call back later this afternoon. He didnt so I called and left a message and he didnt get back to me.

    I also got an email from the other supervisor saying they are training a new girl and I am "welcome to come in and join them". So basically hes saying Im as good as a "brand new person". WTF? Also why are they hiring a new girl when Ive asked REPEATEDLY for more hours and they havent given me much?

    And Im constantly asking for feedback on what it is Im doing wrong and they just say "a lot of things" and then dont explain. seriously!

    Ive been paralyzed with fear all day and basically dissociating from my body and having trauma flashbacks from my abuse from the stress.

    Is this my fault?