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more confusion

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by becca7, Nov 2, 2012.

  1. becca7

    Regular Member

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    So, as you can see, I'm still just questioning everything. So last night I had a dream and my crush (?) (a girl) was in my dream. And we were just lying together in bed in a semi-dark room. Anyways, woke up this morning even more confused. Reason why is because I don't normally have dreams that have people in them. Also, have had 3 dreams in which 3 guys I've had a crushes on (obviously not in the same dream). That being said, I've also had at least 4 dreams (prior to the one last night) that have had girls in them but 2 of them were in middle school and I thought that maybe I was just a guy in those dreams. The other 2 I have both had within the past year and was definitely a girl in both. I know dreams aren't everything but I have also been having conflicting emotions lately. So yeah...really attracted to this girl and don't know what to do. I live in the same dorm as her. Also, my roommate is extremely homophobic so I worry that if I tell my crush she'll end up telling my roommate at some point. Another thing is I feel like if I tell my crush she'll ask why I'm questioning which I don't think I'm ready to tell her yet. Anyways I know this is extremely long post but please help ...
     
  2. pinklov3ly

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    I actually discovered my feelings for women after I had a dream about a girl too. I didn't know who she was, but she wanted me to watch her take a bath. Crazy, I know, but after having that dream it brought up a lot a repressed emotions that I had already had. I had always known that I liked girls, but I kept it a secret. I crushed on my teacher, girls who attended my school and my friends growing up. I came out as bisexual, but then after much soul searching I came out as gay/lesbian. My primary attraction is towards women emotionally/romantically and sexually. I actually started questioning again and I've come up with the label as homoflexible. It's just that when I was questioning years ago all these new terms/labels did not exist back then. I'm open to the idea of falling in love with a man, but I don't think it's going to happen.

    I'm totally rambling and going off the subject, but I don't think you should tell your crush just yet. Perhaps, give it some time, but you can always talk to her and hang out with her to get to know her better. If your feelings get stronger for her then maybe you could tell her. I wouldn't worry about your homophobic roommate unless she tries to personally attack you for liking girls. It's a waste of time trying to get homophobic people to see things from a different perspective. But then again, she could be really cool about it.
     
  3. becca7

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    Thanks for your reply :slight_smile: it helped a lot. Well so far my feelings for my crush have only gotten stronger, and I would only tell her that I'm questioning because I know she is accepting of LGBT people. On the other hand, I worry about telling her because I worry about my roommate somehow finding out. My roommate wouldn't attack me but she'd definitely no longer feel comfortable rooming together. And I don't really want to change her mind about it, I just don't want to make things awkward and complicated halfway through the year, so I have considered transferring rooms so that if I do decide this year I'll have the option to tell some people and not worry about rooming with her...but then again, I have no clue what I'm going to end up deciding so yeah, still in the dark about the situation with her....
    any more help would be greatly appreciated, thanks again for the last post pinklov3ly, it gives me hope :slight_smile: