Lately, I've just been feeling super lonely. I love my friends and they're all so supportive of me and everything...but the thing is, sometimes I feel like I'm just missing something. Every single one of them is straight, so I don't really have any friend who can relate to me on that level (they'll all willingly listen to anything I have to say but...sometimes I'll feel uncomfortable talking to them about girls). Anyway, it doesn't really help that they all have boyfriends and it makes me feel like I'm really missing out. Like I really, really, would want that for myself. But at my school, basically no one is out...the few that are I have zero connection to (I mean like I don't know them at all). So am I basically forced to wait until college (which I guess isn't too far away) to really "be gay"? By that I mean like...have gay friends, a girlfriend, whatever. Just have anyone to be able to talk about these things to. Thanks guys.
From the sound of it, it seems like you know what's missing from your life - some kind of connection with gay people, girls especially, and the larger gay world. Different people have different needs in terms of how many other gay people they need to know and be in contact with, but if you're feeling like you're missing out because of that, maybe it would be worth exploring. And, just to mention it, that doesn't mean you need to have a girlfriend - it doesn't make you a "fake" gay person if you're not in a relationship. You mention a few people at your school who are out, but that you don't have any contact with them. Do you think you could talk to them, or approach them in some way? Or do you feel like something is stopping you from doing that?
Hi snowflurry, You're really lucky to have so many supportive friends. Though I think I understand how it can be difficult to "be gay", as you put it, around them; especially that you say they're all straight. You don't have to wait untill you go to college, though. Why don't you try joining some of your local support groups and meeting some people you could be more comfortable around? Cheers
Hey- Thanks for your input! Yeah, I'm just missing that connection to the gay world (if that's what it's called). I really wish I could approach those few kids who are out but to be honest...I don't really know how to go about doing that. Like I don't have any classes with any of them, none of them are even in my grade, they're the kind of people I'll just occasionally see around in the halls. I did try going to the local LGBT center once, but was way too intimidated to ever go back again. Everyone was in their own little cliques already, and the whole experience was kind of a let down.
Isn't there any way you could get closer to those out kids you mention? Try starting with a brief "hi" in the hallway during recess. Or maybe in the school cafeteria during lunch time.
