Why is it that when the one person who says they will be there for you during a hard time in your life, such as coming out, always seems to be so far away? All i want is the person who gave me the experience of being gay be there for me. I have never felt so alone in my life and i have no idea what to do. Out of the two people i have told, the only one who is supportive and is checking up is the one who is across the world in the peace corps. "Friends" say that they are supportive but yet they seem so different. Yes i understand that people have their own lives and things going on, but i know damn well that if i had a friend going through what i am that i would make every effort to let them know that i'm there for them. Why do i have to be so alone during the biggest battle that i will ever have to go through. I have been nothing but a good person to everyone else and the one time i need support everyone is gone. Why does this have to be so hard.
Hi there! (*hug*) Sorry to hear that you are feeling alone. Even though the one friend who is there for you and checks up on you and makes sure you are okay is far away, remind yourself that you are not alone, and that he is still in you life. Are you in contact with him on a regular basis? I would encourage you to try widening your friends' circle, making sure that you have a couple of friends that you can rely on for being there when you need them. One way to go about it is trying to join a LGBT support group, which can provide you with quite a bit of support. Is there a support group in your area? What about joining an activity or a social group in your community? (*hug*)
Not really, she has limited access to the internet so i talk to her once a week maybe, but tomorrow will mark one week since i've told somebody. I only know of one person who is out, and they were my support system but i feel like i have bogged him down with so many questions, and as much as he says it doesn't bother him, i can tell it does; especially today. I'm sure there is something in my area, but this is something very new to me. I'm just so lost and so alone i don't know what my next step is.
Hi there! (*hug*) If he says it doesn't bother him, I think there is some truth to that. Maybe ask him if you could invite him for a coffee or a drink, and just to say thank you (again). Maybe something else was going on in his mind, and wasn't fully into the conversation or couldn't really pay 100% attention to you. But that's okay. If you want to, you could ask him if he could introduce you to a support group. Having his support could already help you to take that step. That said, if you feel it is all too new at this point, there is no rush in joining something or needing to go beyond what you are comfortable with at this point. Do you have any other friends to whom you are not out to yet? Also, keep in mind that EC is a great hang out too. Talk to a few members on here, when you feel alone. Yes, it is not the same as having a friend present or sitting beside you, but getting to know a couple of members might help you a bit in not feeling so alone. (*hug*)
^ I'm honestly sure it doesn't bug them. Homosexuals understand how much of a big deal this is, and that support is what you need. I would continue talking to your gay friend, try not to be repetitive with your questions so you don't bore him. But yea, I would think he would be totally fine with you continuing to question and talk to him, because he SHOULD understand EXACTLY what you are going through and what you NEED
I told him i'd like to buy him dinner for all that he has done, he agreed but finding a time is hard but that's to be expected. I've only come out to two people thus far, not comfortable with myself yet to come completely out or go to any kind of sessions. I feel like asking something like that of him is asking too much. The problem is that i see him every day at work, he literally sits 5ft away from me. I see him everyday and my mind is constantly racing. That said, i know he's there for me, but when i apologize for talking so much he says its ok but i know deep down it bothers him. I just wish i could get him out of my head and move on. The part that bothers me is i don't know if i constantly think about him because i think i like him or because he gave me my first gay experience? Not seeing him would help but i can't help but think of him all the time, it makes me sick.
From what you have described, it is possible that you have started to have feelings for him. If you think about him a lot, if not constantly, there might be something to it. It could also be that you have developed a deeper sense of attachment to him, because he has been there for you, and has also given you your first gay experience. Have you ever mentioned to him how you feel?
In my experience of coming out, so far it has been a really lonely experience too so in that you are not alone! This can change over time but that is dependent on you reaching out and expanding your support network appropriately. I know you say you do not feel ready to join a group but when you do, I think it is highly possible that your feelings of loneliness will decrease. In the meantime, learn to appreciate the beauty if solitude. If you can't always have conpany or be around people who understand how you feel, spend some good time with yourself. Posting here is an excellent way of reaching out. Congratulations on your coming out so far and stick with it!
Yes, that's what i'm afraid of. I think that i am developing feelings for him. I've never felt something like this for someone in my life. By telling him i'm terrified to lose him, and make our work situation akward. I'm over analyzing everything and its driving me crazy. My roommate is out of town this weekend so i had a night to myself last night which was what i wanted more than anything, but it took a turn for the worse. I just had a break down, hence the first post. I can be impatient, and i just wish i was ready for the next step. Thanks for everything everybody, this online experience is slowly starting to help me and make me feel better.
Hi there! First off, glad that EC is a bit of help. Sorry to hear that you had a breakdown though. (*hug*) One thing to keep in mind is that it is okay to take things slow. You don't have to rush, and don't need to be impatient. It is okay to say to yourself: "when I'm ready, I'll be ready, and will take my time." Feelings that you never had before, in some ways, can be a confirmation, or reveal things about you that you didn't know about yourself before. Yeah, it sucks having these feelings and not being entirely sure what to make of them or how to act on them, but at the same time, they provide you with confirmation (if ever you wanted or felt you needed it). Try not to over-analyze things and maybe try to follow your instincts and what they are telling you. Things are going to be okay and work out. (*hug*)
