To be frank my whole previous month of October was pretty ick, for two whole weeks, I was ready to lose it because my dad decided to be jerk and insult my one of my long distance friends by calling her a thief. It's a very long story, and I will tell it some other time, but in my heart of hearts I believe her sincerely considering how long we know each other. So anyways when I said I was sending her a birthday gift, dad was like. "Oh the thief." and that just hurt especially when he continued to act like a jerk saying she is pretty much no good etc etc etc. Mom tried to get him to shut up but the damage was done I was pissed and kicked into the bipolar mode where I locked myself in my room for the rest of the day. Sounds childish but....considering I still live with them, I have nowhere else to get away form them. THEN came in my sister the following day raving about how her week sucked on how her life is all Boo Hoo I worked so many days of work and I never got a day off. When I wasn't able to give her any sympathy SHE decides to get in my face and is like. WHY can't it be about ME?! All bug eyed and teary....That freaked me out to be fair. She is really tightly wound and to be fair this is why I don't work and never will again. (the joy of mental disability ladies and gents) And when I suggested her to go to therapy....she quickly shut it down like it was the devil I suggested she go see. *sighs* To top it all off yesterday the little "red dot" happened to my sister... whoo. So she couldn't suck it up and get the pizza, because for once in my life I really wanted a day to myself. I mean seriously I've done it, it's no big deal. =_= What makes her holier than thou cause she is 4 years younger than me? Could I not afford a break? NOPE Dad got in my face, and pretty much said, when I say something DO IT. =3= So Mom's defense "We're adults let's live and work together and etc etc etc." This is why I seriously need to get out of here, and granted they have done a lot for me. So I cannot begin to bitch or anything like that or backbite like that because if I do, HEAVEN FORBID I desire my freedom. I have to wait till I am 30. 27 now....so that's another 3 more years........and with what little income I have right now......=_= yeeeah it's not going to happen. I don't say I hate my life. Living situation......yeah it's stupid. I want to move away at least with a room-mate of some kind I know, but all the friends I have on skype are miles and states, countries away. @_@ So no dice. I have spoken to my therapist a few times about this, mostly to blow steam and then I go back in m comfort zone, but I know money wise I am unable to do much, and my parents don't think I am mentally mature.... Just because my mental stability is in question doesn't make me an invalid. I mean when you see how long this post and how much thought into this...yeah part of it is venting and the other half is me reaching out. So yeah, I really don't know what to do. I want to think November is going to be better, but the weather is going to be worse I can feel it and I have so much to worry about in the future up until the end of the year. I just want to function...and I have a good feeling I will be seeing my therapist more often, than I usually do. If there's anyone who is willing to help, relate, talk, anyone. I honestly don't know if this month is going to get better than last month.
