Strange thoughts about getting older

I know how you feel... It seems odd to think of Tyler and myself being 20, 30, 40, ....

but then I think about how weird it seemed when I was 8 to see someone who was 18.
I think as your body just naturally changes, and your mind does too. (I hope)

I know a few gay couples, one we know are in there 80's and still happy and going strong.

I think you just got to live life and go with the flow... does that make sense?

 

Part of the problem is that gay couples who are now in their 50s and 60s would have grown up and come out during a period when homosexuality was much less acceptable, and probably illegal. They are likely to have met and dated in secret, and may still be living their lives quietly together. So they are more hidden.

As you probably know there are loads of gay people where I work. One of them is in his 50s (I would guess) and has a partner around the same age. I don't know exactly how long they have been together, but I think they are long-term. They certainly appear to be in a stable relationship. I'll ask him when I next see him.

Also remember that Jerry was in a relationship with Dan, who is around the same age.

Personally I have no idea where I'll be or what I'll be doing in 5, 10 or 20 years time. Whatever happens will happen.

 

i sometimes feel like this. i really hope that when i'm older i'll have found someone who understands and loves me, and i them. and somebody who i have a physical connection with too, so that's probabaly a she. if i can find somebody like this, and we can ovecome the diffculties of partnership together to enrich each other's lives, i hope to be with them(her) right into old age. but, i don't know whether this will happen. i can hope though

 

Paul is right in what he says. Nevertheless, they do exist. A (straight) mate of mine has a customer, with whom he is quite friendly and whom I have met, who is a guy in his eighties. Still spry - and a couple of years ago lost his partner of well over 40 years.

Possibly one of the most high profile gay men here, who is in a in a long term relationship, would be High Court Judge Michael Kirby. http://www.hcourt.gov.au/kirbyj.htm

 

I know alot of older gay couples. You probably just haven't been in the right circles to meet these type of people Martin. I met two ladies in their 70's at a gay rights event that were great! I know several couples who are my age. They don't talk about going to the gay bars, they pretty much just live quiet lives like the rest of us. They go to work, come home, and argue over who is cooking the dinner.

 

Martin, You'll be amazed at how your life unfolds in front of you - often in ways that you could never have orchestrated even if you try. Live your life for today - and try not to worry too much about the future.

Straight people can take comfort in the fact that they'll grow up, get married, have kids, blah blah blah... and when that doesn't go as planned it can be quite devastating (i.e. divorce, infertility, etc.). You're already having to contemplate living a life that doesn't 'conform' to the general standard. It can be quite scary. But everyone's life is full of uncertainty.

If it's any comfort to you, I'm utterly amazed at how life has worked for me so far... Although I'm only in my mid / late 30s. I've managed to finish university, complete my accounting designation, establish a successful career in finance, marry a wonderful woman, and have two beautiful children - all while in denial as to being gay. The denial I can see now took it's toll, and life has had it's rough patches too lately.

However, I've weathered my separation, came out to my parents, sister, and best friends, and I've established a relationship with a really amazing guy. I don't know if I'll be with him still when I'm 50 - although the thought has crossed my mind and left me with a very good / satisfied feeling. :icon_bigg The fact is though, that if for some reason this relationship doesn't last, it has proven to me that true love exists, and that I don't need to be alone.

If you can hold onto that fact as well - then you should be able to face the future with confidence and hope just like I will.

 

My uncle is gay, 67- i think- and he has been with his guy for ever, pretty much. they own a beach house, they live together in Dover, Delaware, and they are happy.

I imagine myself growing old together with someone; i want to. i want to live a peaceful late life where i can watch the sunsets and sunrises with the person i love.

 

I sometimes think about this too, and wonder what I'll be like as a gay pensioner. Will I still be in the closet? Probably not, but it won't matter as the old people then will be our generation who'll be more tolerant towards homosexuals. Anyway, I won't have anything really to worry about as aged 21, I always feel like a grumpy old man moaning about things...

 

There are more older gay couples that you might think. My parents both work with gay people who are committed to a life partner. I know that I want that for myself one day.

 

i sometimes think about growing older and worrying if ill ever get the chance to settle down. but i think thats what makes life so exciting, that uncertainty that anything can happen at any given moment. im sure there are plenty of older gay couples out there, and hopefully more will become apparent as homosexuality is gradually gaining more acceptance.

 

My mom's best friends from college are gay and have been together since around sophomore year, it definitely wasn't one of those young relationship things though; they're completely and madly in love 23 years later.

 

My old Neighbors from back in South Carolina were lesbian lovers and in their 70's. They were the greatest neighbors I've ever had. They had like a million dogs and a bit of a squirrel problem. I used to go over and practice on their Baby Grand.