Normally I would ask this anonymously but, I just don't wanna right now....So...I know alot of people and talk to a bunch of people even hang out with them but,...I don't feel like I have any really good friends...like a best friend. There's no one in my life that I tell secrets to or talk to about personal things....is there a way to change this? I feel like it's because I used to be a super sensitive and emotional guy but, after a depression caused by realizing I was gay I pretty much lost my emotions if that makes sense....Now that I'm out I want to be that sensitive guy I used to be and get close to other people but, I don't know how. =(
It's not easy. You've basically conditioned yourself to be turned inward during your depression, and now you kind of have to recondition yourself if that makes sense. I know when I was younger I used to get really close to people pretty easily, but when I went into depression, I turned completely inward. I kept my emotions to myself, and that was not an easy thing to turn around. I can actually really identify with how you feel in wanting to turn it around and be that person that you used to be. I felt exactly like that, and the fact that I couldn't seem to do it depressed me even more. For me, it took one person and I really had to force myself. I really got to know her pretty well though and decided I wanted to turn things around. Little by little, I forced myself to share little pieces of myself with her. It was a long process, and extremely difficult for me, but eventually after quite some time, the walls I'd built up finally started to come down. Even now though, years later, I'm not entirely the person I used to be. I do feel like I'll get there some day though. After talking to her, it's become a lot easier to talk to others, and I've slowly started letting them in, and letting my emotions float closer to the surface. It's not easy, and at first it really does take a lot of effort and commitment. Sadly, you probably won't magically become that person you were again one day, but if you really want it, and are willing to work to make it happen, you can get back to it. Start with one person. Choose one of those people you talk to and hang out with maybe and start slow. I hope this helps. This is how I dealt with a similar issue. Good luck
It really does help =)...I just need to find a best friend then and share everything with them...thank you so much =) I am still open t other advice if anyone else wants to chime in.
