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advice for muzzy

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jonathan, Feb 9, 2008.

  1. Jonathan

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    Well, I logged into myspace to find this message waiting for me...
    And I just have no idea how to handle the situation (becuase obviously, I dont feel the same way). I dont want to handle this the wrong way and have it ruining our friendship (Erika is one of my best friends and I've known her since like the 2nd grade).
    So, how should I handle this? I mean, should I just simply message her back saying I want to stay just friends or should I wait to tell her in person? And what if she asks why...I'm not sure what I would say. Something similar happend with my friend Jamie in the 7th grade. She didnt actually come out and say it, but it was common knowledge that she really liked me. I just did my best to ignore it back then, but since Erika has actaully come out and said it I cant really do that...I just dont know how to handle this...:help:
     
  2. Time

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    Honesty is the best answer is situations like this. Every time I find myself in this exact predicament, best girl friends suddenly admitting they like me, I always ignore it and hope that they will too. It doesn't work. Don't beat around the bush either, saying you don't know or "not right now".

    Whether you reply to the message or tell her in person is really not something we can tell you in my opinion. Only you know which would do the job better, or which she prefers.

    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  3. Jamie

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    well if you've known her for so long, and if you class her as one of your best friends then perhaps you would feel comfortable letting her in to the real reason you don't fancy her. Atleast then she won't think there's anything wrong with her, and she'll know not to try and persue you in that way in future... just a thought.
     
  4. KatoKumi

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    Eh, just be real with her. If you're not ready to be out to her, then tell her you just don't feel that way about her, and that it isn't gonna change. Hopefully she'll be one to get it the first time. The times I've went through that, I'd had to force it through their head that they're not for me. [The only time I really say that, though, is if I'm srsly not attracted to the person in any way].

    Don't lie or else you'll have to lie a lot more.
    Gluxx.
    <3
     
  5. Blaz

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    You could lie to her by saying your not in the position to be in a relationship.

    But that's lying.
     
  6. otc877

    otc877 Guest

    I know how you feel! I've been in this predicament twice in the past year...

    The first girl, I just ignored it and let things play out... ya that was dumb..

    The 2nd girl, I told her the second I found out that she liked me that It wasn't going to happen. Something along the lines of "I can't imagine us being anything more than just friends"

    Apparently that wasn't enough and she kept pushing for a relationship. Both situations were awkward, and I wish I could have trusted either of them enough to let them know the REAL reason why.

    If you feel like you can tell her, and trust her with the truth, I think that will be your best option.
     
  7. CelebrityHead

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    Convincing Erika that you're not interested will be a lot easier than it usually is. I admire that she has tried to pursue her love interest, but still left you room to say no;
    Erika will understand if you don't like her back, she has clearly stated that. Unfortunately when I was in the same situation, the girl wasn't all that understanding (and then thought my coming out was an excuse!)

    She obviously prefers communicating through myspace, so it won't bother her if you reply with a message. Although, if you feel more comfortable talking to her in person, then I'm sure that would be your better option. And if you do opt to come out to her as a means of proving you don't have feelings for her, a face to face chat would definitely be more effective IMO.

    Good luck! (*hug*)
     
  8. acorn7

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    Since you know each other so well, I'd have to say tell her. She'll understand and while she'll be sad, it's the best thing to do.
     
  9. Jonathan

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    Well, I'll start off by saying thanks for all the advice. I told her that I just wanted to be friends. Even though I really considered it, I didnt come out to her. However, she was very understanding about me not feeling the same way, and as of now, we are back normal. :icon_bigg
     
  10. CelebrityHead

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    That's great! I'm glad it all worked out in the end (*hug*)