So, ummm... where to start? I am doing okay in recovery, relapsed a couple days ago but am getting back on my feet. But I feel so lonely and I kind of want people to know, but I don't want the information to spread. Currently only one friend knows the full extent, my therapist knows I have struggled with it, and my parents know that I have struggled with it. I am trying to tell people in school so I can get some support, especially as one of my favorite activities is triggering sometimes. I want to talk to the head of the club (we'll call her L), because she's really understanding and seems nice. But everytime I try to bring it up, I chicken out. This happens a lot with coming out to my friends as well. What are good ways you've found to get through the nerves and tell people? I also really don't want the information getting around without my control, as that happened at camp. Someone overheard me saying something to the only person who really knows (we'll call her G), and rumors got around. It ended up with me not talking to G for nearly a month after camp ended. How do I prevent the spread of rumors?
If you don't have L's e-mail address, you might simply get that first. Then you can start the conversation (via e-mail) by saying you'd like to talk to her about something. You can then work on drafting an e-mail that say everything you want to say. It's tempting to work such an e-mail to death, but just make sure that everything is in there that you want to touch on, and send it off. As far as "controlling the spread of info", that's something you don't ever have absolute control over. All you can do is 1. be selective about who you're telling, and 2. make sure they understand that you're telling them this information in confidence. I personally think it's a good idea to not over-stress the secrecy aspect. "I want to tell you something AND YOU HAVE TO PROMISE NOT TO TELL ANYONE EVER!!!" is a bit heavy. "I'd like to talk to you about something, but I don't think I'm ready for this information to be common knowledge, so I'd like to keep it just between us for now, if that's OK" is much better. Lex
