I read an article which made points about why there probably isn't truly a OCD theme which would deal with ones sexual orientation. Basically I feel as though it made a lot of good points so I've accepted the fact that I may very well be (probably am) bisexual. But even TRULY accepting this I tried to have a gay fantasy to a guy I think is attractive and still I get nothing...what's wrong with me? Can internalized homophobia stop one from getting an erection to a gay fantasy? ---------- Post added 5th Nov 2012 at 01:55 PM ---------- I mean I feel perfectly content in getting off to the same sex if I'm truly bisexual and this is not my OCD. I have no issues with being bi if that's the case but I promise this does not work for me, I'm doing everything I can. I feel like I'm always going to be screwed up.
I am gay, but find 95% of men unsexy. Their naked bodies would leave me cold and disinterested. Then there are those few that could rock my world. And it is not a type, hair color, body type, etc. It is something in the personality, or education, or attitude. So you could be into a gay sexual experience, but the time, and place, and right guy has not yet appeared. I say don't worry about it. Let it happen when a guy talks to you, and holds eye contact longer than average, and touches you on arm, or some other clue, and you find him attractive as well. Don't push it or worry about it. Life has enough stressful things in it to worry about that.
Is there anyone on here who can maybe share some insight? I keep "compulsing" and trying to prove I am bi and this is not my OCD but no matter how hard I try (I'm trying to make myself like the fantasies so that I can be sure I'm not denying) I can't get off to the thoughts, I haven't been able to even get an erection. I've talked to my therapists and they insist that this is my OCD (I've been diagnosed with Classic OCD twice and have had many obsessions besides this). I'm starting to lose it though because I don't know whats wrong with me.. ---------- Post added 5th Nov 2012 at 04:23 PM ---------- That's the thing though I've tried to stop and I can't. I can't help but to obsess about it everyday and try to masturbate to gay fantasies (I do it 20+ times a day and always get nothing). Meanwhile I can get off to girls easily, enjoy sex with them, and have been in love numerous times. I just dont understand what's wrong.
You are either too picky or not gay at all. I basically am turned on by all types of guys, it doesn't take much for me to be attracted to you, a good personality is basically all I need, I don't look at background, wealth, or education, because not all good people are intelligent, and plenty of my friends are morons, but I think they're morally sound more so than the majority of people therefore I don't let that get to me. I don't like anyone overweight though, or with long hair. I would definitely wonder why you find it hard to have a gay fantasy, if you think you may be bisexual though.
Idk I spoke to a gay affirming therapist over the phone and he too thinks this has to do with OCD. Maybe I'm not bi, I just want these damn obsessive thoughts and compulsions to stop. No matter what the theme is living with this is like living in a nightmare.
For the first part there is nothing wrong with you, so don't be so harsh on yourself. I agree what Jeff said let things come naturally and don't stress to hardly on finding an answer sometimes you just have to live. I know this can be hard because I used to do the same thing that you did when I wasn't sure I was gay and I still do it a little bit now when I don't entirely understand a new feeling that comes along and i can't classify it. Trust me it is very healthy sometimes to just let things go and happy, you won't be so stressed out anymore. Another thing is there is a concept that defines human sexuality as a spectrum one can be homosexual bi-romantic or bisexual and only intesrested in romantic affairs, you don't neccesarily hav to label yourself "gay" or "straight." Just find what revelation or truth works for you and be yourself. Another thing is that you are young don't be so focused on defining yourself quite yet because your emotions are still developing, love yourself for what your are and will become irregardless. I hope this advice helps good look in finding yourself and don't worry to much about it you'll know when you know
Thanks for the answer but I believe that this is most likely an OCD theme for me which means that without the proper treatment, it's be damn near impossible for me to let this go (The same has been the case for all of my other OCD themes..I've had hundreds at this point haha). According to all the professionals and even many on this site this is the case. I have tried basically a thousand times to get aroused by men and it simply does not work for me. At the beginning of this I was very anxious, but now that I have finally allowed myself to calm down a bit I'm am starting to realize this is a part of my mental disorder. I don't believe that homosexuality or bisexuality are wrong or mental disorders, thus is why I finally went head and tried to accept this whole thing as not OCD but reality. Like I've said I perform my compulsions at least 20 times a day (trying to sexually fantasize about men for the last four months) and it has never amounted in arousal or ejaculation (sorry if gross) is telling me that I'm probably not bisexual or gay. As for homoromantic, I don't know what the future holds, but sex are usually a huge part in my relationships and if the mechanics don't work for men, I don't know. Thanks again for helping me though it seriously means a lot.
